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Somehow the comment I thought I'd posted about the grandfather didn't go through - I think I only clicked on preview by mistake and not "post message." Basically I said the lw's mom and great-grannie did not go far enough to help her. They basically shut her up by not taking it to the police or informing other family members. Grandfather knows they won't report him and now he's free to molest another girl. He thinks the lw, her mom and great grannie won't report him because they've been complicit in covering up his crime. The lw needs to go to the police now and tell them what happened and she should tell other family members starting with the parents of other young girls. We don't know from her letter whether she was molested just around the time she reported it and it was just the one time or whether it had happened years prior or how often. It's not her fault it wasn't reported to the police or the rest of the family since her mom and great grannie pretty much prevented that. So she should not feel guilty or ashamed about that. She should also not feel ashamed that she was molested. But she should definitely say something now. I don't care if her grandfather is on his death bed or even already dead. He may have, and probably did, molest other girls and they all need counseling, including the letter writer. It's not uncommon for victims of sexual abuse to feel shame and guilt as though they somehow feel deep inside that it's their fault, that they somehow caused their molester to molest them. She needs to talk to a counselor desperately right now since she's expressed the thought of "ending it all."The more I think about it, the more upset I am with the two older women whom she told but who did not do anything constructive to help her or protect the other girls in the family.

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I just thought I'd let the other posters here know that I changed my posting name. I used to log in with the name Pat. However, there was another Pat who would on rare occasions log on. It became confusing especially when sometimes our views differed. I'm sure it bothered her as well to have someone log in with the same name. I would sometimes point out that I was the "Other Pat" when she had posted a comment before I did. So to avoid future confusion, I've made the change. Thank you all for your forbearance with past confusions. ___ :-)

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the grandfather should be prosecuted and definitely kept away from any other children. maybe his daughter was also molested who knows? it is not her fault. she is the victim. he should be punished.