LW1 sounds like the living embodiment of one of those trouble-making old maids in cartoons. First, does she think she's no longer a virgin because she's seen a naked man? Headache and burning eyes? Well, marriage isn't going to be much fun for her then. ("Not tonight dear, I have a headache and burning eyes.) Second, if her nephew and his friends know this man is there, so do the parents and it obviously isn't the traumatic sight presented unless you spend anxious moments waiting to see your first naked man down the hill and across the street. This lady has problems and will probably remain a virgin for a long time to come. LW2 needs to get out, get out, get out, and then work out whether to go back. Even if the next phase of abuse never comes, she and her children will be left twitching like rats in an experiment with food and electricity. Abuse is the one thing that does seem to start after marriage, when the abuser feels the power, and tolerating it encourages it, making the abused and the audience all part of the dance.

I'm curious. Why did she find it necessary to mention she's a virgin? What difference does that make? Is she trying to establish some kind of moral purity in regard to the naked man? I think she went to the game just to catch a glimpse and felt guilty. Of course, there's nothing to feel guilty about. We are all born naked. There is no shame, except that which the church imparts on sheeple.
LW2-get out asap. you are damaging your child, as well as yourself. he needs an anger management class, pronto. but don't wait until he gets worse. get out now before anymore damage is done. what are you waiting for?

LW1: If you have seen a naked man, you are no longer a virgin and it is no use pretending. You must go immediately to the house of the naked hot tub man and ask him to marry you.

Re: Big Meanie - Finally, someone with the right idea. I looked upon a naked man as a virgin and married him within 6 months. My eyes never burned again but I did get headaches now and again.

If she gets a headache and her eyes burn from 100 yards away, there's no telling what will happen when she sees one up close. She'd better stay an old maid. (I wonder if she was using binoculars.)

LW1: I suspect this lady just HAD to tell us she is a virgin and never saw a naked man so we would understand her shock which was the cause of her eyes burning and her getting a headache. She wanted to emphasize how seeing a naked man for the first time in her life was a horrendous experience. She thinks the kids who presumably have never seen a naked man either will react in a like manner: burning eyes and a headache on the first viewing of a naked man. Ok, her eyes are no longer virgins; it's official. She didn't say whether her sister also saw the naked man. (Obviously, I'm having fun writing "naked man." ;-) ) How did her sister react? After all, it's her son's group being exposed to this guy's naked body. Of course I doubt she experienced burning eyes and a headache on this momentous occasion since she probably saw a naked man before. ------ Seriously, the lw should have told her sister and then they could have reported it to the police and let them handle it. The police would certainly know whether any law was being broken. If they inform him of the problem and he continues his naked public bathing, then they'll know for certain that the guy is doing it on purpose. Despite my humor regarding the letter, the situation itself is not something I find at all humorous. I wouldn't want to see that guy naked nor would I want the kids to see him. It's not clear to me that the man is aware that other people can see him, but you'd think he'd at least wear a bathing suit.

Am I the only one who thinks LW1 is probably a troll?

I'm usually a person that does not express my opinion about much. I usually enjoy reading my Courier-Journal until your May 19th issue. I have thought and stewed on if I should express my opinion to the Courier Journal or not. Well here it goes....I am totally disgusted and wanted to let you know how applaud I am at the advice that Annie's Attic gave to the 23 year old woman concerned about the naked man in the hot tub overlooking the little league park. This man needs to be reported to the police immediately! I can't believe the audacity of these two women from Annie's Attic to think that it was any way the 23 year old woman's fault for viewing this naked man, like she had tried to sneak a peak for her pleasure! She was obviously very concerned about her nephew and the other children at the park or she wouldn't have written an advice column in the first place. In return she was ridiculed for asking what the right thing to do would be. If I knew the name of the park I would report the child predator myself! I'm almost sure that he purchased that piece of property for his view from his hot tub! I'm all for the luxury of doing what you want in your own home, but this takes is way cross that line. What has this world come to? Are we excepting child predator now? Do these women know how precious the innocents of a child is? What if the naked man is not a child predator...do these children really need to accidentally see a naked man while they are trying to play?

Re: Scarred for Life..........You have all missed the point. Get over the virginity, burning eyes part. Her question was should she report this? HECK YES she should and the quicker the better. This man is a child predator and is exposing himself to CHILDREN. It is no coincidence that he is living across from a Little League Park. The police need to make a visit to this home and arrest him for this disturbing act.

I rarely comment on this page because it requires logging in, but I couldn't help address some of the looneys who commented. Where is the proof he is a CHILD PREDATOR? What a horrible, serious accusation that, if made officially as you suggest, could get this man fired, divorced, whatnot, and ruin his life forever. All that because os some uptight woman? This woman is beyond puritanical. She is the type who thinks everyone but her is going to hell. She probably thinks being nude is a sin, and bathes clothed. Her eyes burned when she saw him naked? Really? REALLY? Then how does she expect to be married and have children?

She should take the issue up with the man privately, and tell him that his hot tub activities are visible to others. Give him the chance to change. For all she knows, he might not be aware of it, and might just assume no one can see. Obviously, no other adult has seen him nude, either because they are not closet perverts like her who stare for ten minutes to see him nude, or it's just not visible, except to little kids who can hide under a bush.

Hi, I read the article in todays paper 8/15/09 about a little girl that quite visiting her dad at 14 years of age because of his drinking and now he is dieing from it and she wanted to know if she should be with him while this is happening. I think she should. I have a daughter now that is 17 I left her father when she was a year old because of his drinking, (verbal abuse, and couldn't keep a job or his license because of it) well her father became ill with blood clots in his legs a 11 years ago and he hadn't worked all that time well she seen him every other week end and his vacation times but this summer he became extremely ill to were the doctors told him he was dieing of scirhosis its not spelled write but you know want I mean. So I let her stay with him most of this summer he finally past away last Friday night 8/7/09. She knows he died from his drinking and he had told her that he drank because of stress and he couldn't drive or get to work. She is hurt by dieing so I don't think she really understands much about it other than he was a drunk and he wasn't to nice to her or me. I've talked to her about what alcohol does but I couldn't understand why he drank because he didn't have that bad of a life. She told me drank because of stress and he couldn't drive or get to a job. But now she has to morn because of him not getting help for it and these kids don't understand that alcohol is bad if not controlled and the children of alcoholics that don't get help suffer the consequences of it. I feel bad for them. God will heal these teenage girls.

In answer to" FLORIDA " ( Fri. Jan 29,2010 )
A wonderful organization to meet many nice Ladies is the " The Embroderers' Guild of America, Inc." There are 13 chapters throughout Florida. "FLORIDA" does not have to know how to do needwork, the members will teach her. Go to www.egausa.org on your computer and look for a chapter near you. signed Sarasota .

re; women angry at the sex therapist

AS A HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL FOR OVER 30 YEARS, THESE WOMEN THAT ARE FEELING INFURIATED WILL BE THE SAME ONES THAT WILL BE BITTER AND ANGRY IN A FEW YEARS WRITING TO YOU COMPLAINING THAT THEY CANT GET A MAN, WHILE THIER EX-HUSBANDS ARE HAVING A GREAT TIME WITH HIS NEW WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND. WE MEN ARE RELATIVELY SIMPLE , WE WANT A GOOD HOME, LOVING WIFE AND FAMILY, AND A MUTUALLY SATISFYING SEX LIFE. THE WOMEN WHO PRACTICE THIS KEEP THIER HUSBANDS THE WOMEN WHO DONT WIND UP SADLY PATHETIC AND ALONE.

I find it so weird that after looking at the man in the hot tub her eyes burned and she got a headache; That usually happens when someone doesn't BLINK for 5 minutes!
Let's face it, the woman was curious and she using the shield of offensiveness to protect her from her guilt.
If no one has complained yet, especially if there are kids involved, then it probably isn't a big a deal as she's making it out to be. And for God sakes, has she watched tv lately? It's all about sexual innuendo.

Re: the naked man in the hot tub, there's no way to tell from the LW's description what the real situation is. He may be an exhibitionist, or he may just be a befuddled guy who's oblivious. Or he may have poor eyesight and assume that if he can't see other people clearly, they can't see him. (I knew a guy like that once!) As the Annies said, the LW went to great effort to see him naked. As they also pointed out, he's on HIS property. The big problem I see in the LW, and in some of the respondents who've posted here, is the tendency to equate nudity with sin, child molesting, etc. (and even to equate seeing a nude person with the loss of virginity!) For those folks I have these words: nudity is not necessarily sexual. It's the natural state we were born in. If your religion tells you there's something sinful about it, honey, that's your problem, but keep it to yourself. Nor is being a virgin a virtue, or necessarily a good thing. Virginity just means you'll enter your marriage sexually inexperienced and naive, and probably emotionally immature. But not to worry, if you get headaches and burning eyes whenever you see someone naked, actually, you'll probably never marry at all. --------- Re: the question of nudism, I once lived next door to some nudists. Our neighbors were often nude inside their house and in their back yard. We'd catch glimpses of them now and then through a window or in their back yard (they had a fence and lots of trees, but now and then you'd see someone nude through a break in the trees). I'm sure some of the posters here would say they that means they were criminals, and should have sealed all their windows with black plastic, and lived in a hermetically sealed house, to save others from the horrible shock of seeing them naked. --------- I'll close with an anecdote a police friend told me. He knew a fellow officer who got a call from an old woman wailing that she could see the neighbor naked in his bathtub, from the window in her bathroom. She wanted the man arrested. The cop looked through her bathroom window and couldn't see anyone. The old woman replied, "Of course you can't see him! You're not standing on that stool" The cop climbed up on a stool she was pointing at, and sure enough, he could then see into the man's bathroom. The cop advised her that the best way to solve her problem was to get rid of the stool. The holy virgin who wrote that letter should throw away her binoculars, and thank Heaven that her Vengeful Lord didn't turn her into a pillar of salt for the horrific sin of voyeurism.

Dear Annie:

Yesterday in the Pres Enterprise in Riverside, Ca an article was published concerning a young woman who's staff had been downsized considerably which left her committing to overtime that the management was no longer willing to pay. First of all, Under both federal the owners have to pay he overtime if they required her to finish he work unless she is a salaried employee. Since this young woman is checking on the time clock each day, she is definately not a salaried employee. Under state law they are usually also required to pay the overtime, but the state laws vary from state to state. The woman should keep track of all overtime that she had to perform so that when she leaves her job, she can go to the labor board and file a complaint - eventually the company will have no choice, but to pay her and will be penalized. In addition, she should find out who the executive officers are in the company and go to them and not rely merely on the office manager, controller or general manager being that none of those companies own the company. She needs to stand up and let them know that no pay for overtime means that the work will not get done and then go home each day. As a workers compensation insurance auditor in California, I am quite aware of the laws for federal and state with the feds it comes under the Industrial and Welfare Relations.

Lyndon D Crackel
Premium Auditor
Riverside, Ca