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Re: Kate McLaughlin I also thought of the Unitarian Universalist Church since one has the freedom to be an atheist in that organization. Also, another possibility would be to find a Humanistic Judaism congregation. The website is http://www.shj.org/. It is also possible to join an exercise group, do volunteer work in many areas, start a neighborhood block group, etc.

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I just moved to Carlsbad from Arkansas. I had to come out here alone without my significant other and kids. I find myself in the same position. I have been here for a month and all I do is go to work and then come back to my apartment and sit until its time to go back to work. The weekends are the worst. I have tried to get some of the people I work with to go out and do something. No takers. I am a friendly outgoing person and I can't figure out what the problem could be. Please give her my email address. Thanks

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Re: chimel23 I also can't imagine a world without God in it, no matter what conception one has of God. I hate to say it, but anecdotally, this psychological/spiritual "malaise" that Not the Land of Enchantment is experiencing is this void in the lack of God. One who has no resource to rely on, no principles to live by creates stress and unhappiness in his/her life. I have seen it over and over with so-called atheists who can be extremely angry and dissatisfied. Different religions stress different things -- Christians stress faith, since there are many theological aspects to believe in. Buddlhism offers another type of wisdom and thoughtfullness about life. Judaism in general offers the study of scripture in a metaphorical manner and in-depth commentary. So there are many choices to make life positive and meaningful, and meet others, which is what Not wants.

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Re: Tina Sometimes, Tina, it takes time for people to know and accept you, especially since you say you just moved. Some areas of the country have little pockets of people who are very closed to newcomers. However, I would imagine that there could be some sort of parenting group for single parents where you would meet others in your situation. If your children's schools have PTAs, that's another way to meet and make friends. There is also the possibility of taking a fun class at the local community college such as learn to paint watercolors, swim, do aerobics or crafts, etc. To be frank, I moved where I am now and have made friends that I can call and chat and get advice and have an occasional lunch together, but we don't socialize much with other couples. We kayak and have friends who like to kayak join us, and there is a local kayaking group. If you like being out in nature, you may have another sort of group there such as cycling, climbing, etc. Best of luck to you in finding some new friends.

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Re: Melanie Henderson-Lowe...I am in full agreement with you and chimel23. It is refreshing to see I'm not the only one around here who had this reaction. If she doesn't have any "religion" maybe it's time she got some. The larger problem is that she feels cut off from the rest of humanity...and church would help alleviate that problem as well as the spiritual void that's been spoken of. There are numerous social groups at any church that would be happy to simply "love on" this woman and her husband without pushing them to believe anything. I would like to see her give church a try, if only for the socializing, and let them give her a chance to see what faith and belief are like when they're put into action. (My church has programs for recovering alcoholics and other compulsive behavior problems - gambling, pornography, shopping, etc). The problem with many (if not all) self described atheists is that they have convinced themselves that Christians are only interested in cramming their beliefs down the throats of other people, when they're really about community service, fellowship, and study.

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I'm surprised that you didn't include in your list of suggestions for "Not the Land of Enchantment" that she contact the local humanist organization or Unitarian Church, both of which welcome atheists. Her pseudonym suggests she's in Albuquerque, so she could go to http://www.humanists.net/nm/ or http://www.uuabq.org and I'll bet she'll find some friends there.

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I'm always amazed that people can be so blind as to think there's any other way this world and universe could exist other than being created by God. It really takes much more faith and makes much less sense to have a godless worldview than to accept God's existance and hand in the universe. I don't think they should be so adverse and close minded to the idea of God and church. It's never good to be so close minded that you're not even willing to consider other peoples' viewpoints. There are some great apologetics organizations out there that could be checked out to see how the evidence for faith far outweighs the evidence against it. Try Case for a Creator or I Don't Have Enough Faith To Be an Atheist. Both are great books.

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I so, so agree that "Not the Land of Enchantment" should check out the UU church- Athiests and Agnostics are A-ok with us! I also wanted to comment on her experience with online groups. It can take a while to find a group that works for you. I ultimately started my own group, and it's the best thing I ever did. She should look beyond the pediatricians office- have some cards made, start a website (yahoo or bigtent do this for free) and hand out her card at the playground, the mall, or anyplace else moms hang out. I wish her all the best of luck and hope she finds friends soon.