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Datura and Ariana, I fully agree with both of you. I suspect the lw's "friend" has been somewhat subtle in her negative remarks and it is sometimes difficult to notice them. The lw appears to be a forgiving kind of person and likely didn't want to start an argument over what each seemed like minor issues. But over time, the remarks build up to where it's fairly obvious what the woman was doing. I agree that the lw should examine the earlier years of the "friendship" and whether the lw was always making remarks like this to her. Some people are just so glad to be noticed and have someone's friendship, they overlook such slights. Perhaps that was the lw? Whether the "friend" is insecure or just feels superior to everyone else, I have no idea. But I like Annie's suggestion that the lw confront her when she makes the next remark. It may lead to an argument that ends the friendship but if so, it's not much of a friendship. No "friend" would be looking for ways to slight your children even to the point of making up such faults "from whole cloth." If the remarks continue after the "confrontation," the lw should avoid this "friend."

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Becky sounds like my BIL's wife. She was always pointing out things about my son, or criticizing him in front of me. Her 3 kids were perfect, of course. For my husband's sake, I put up with it for a long time, but finally I told him that the only time I'd ever considered leaving him was when I'd had to be around her. The kids are grown now and my son has always held a job and gone to school, too. Her perfect kids? Well, one was arrested for vandalism and another has been in and out of rehab for drugs. Gotta love karma. Now, she talks about how much she likes my son. (I still don't like her!)

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Re: Joannakathryn -- I bet she has amnesia regarding the past nasty comments she made too. People like that often do. Regarding karma, we've had a particular neighbor for years. She complained about every dog owner in the neighborhood and threatened them all with the police if a dog got loose and dared to walk on her property. She would scream horrible abuse. Then she had kids and it kind of tickled me. I told my husband, "Just wait, they'll end up getting a puppy for the kids at some point." Sure enough, they've had several dogs over the years and they all manage to escape at times and run across other people's property. I feel sorry for the kids because I suspect some of the neighbors aren't too nice when those dogs get loose. I feel it's not the kids' fault that their mom was so mean to everyone else and I usually do what I can to help them with catching the loose dogs. My husband just stood and watched the mother the other day when she came into our yard to catch both her dogs. He said he didn't say a word, just watched. It was during the school day; so it wasn't her kids' fault that they got loose. He said she did look a bit uncomfortable. As you said, Karma - you gotta love it.

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LW2 is worried about losing her friendship? Lady, your children come first. Can they hear your friend talk about them? I wonder if she'd be so worried about the friendship if said friend were saying these things about her. If someone I thought was my friend began saying things like this about my children, I would give them a few words we're not allowed to use here and leave. To give a friend more opportunities to abuse your children is intolerable. WHy would you do it?

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Annie wrote, "Becky points out your children's flaws in order to make her kids seem superior." No, Becky doesn't *point out* LW's children's flaws. She *makes up* her children's flaws. To jump from the love of science and history to "no imagination" and from a fall to "awfully clumsy" is beyond pale. If I were LW2, I'd think back on my friendship with Becky and try to see if in those teenage years she was also a passive-aggressive backstabbing "friend."