Be very careful about confiding in a church counselor for support. If they are conservative in nature, it could be much worse than coming out to your parents. Could also try community teen services, family service assn. united way, etc.. THIS IS NOT A PERMANENT PROBLEM. Yes, your relationship with your parents may change for the worse, but as you go on you will develop your own caring community and family. There are many gay friendly people out there who would be able and willing to help

I like DJ's comments. Certainly, it seems that trying to stay with his friend's family and if not, then tapping the resources within the gay community would be the best recourse for "Unfortunate." If these do not materialize and if the school counselors and/or religious groups do not come through for him, he might want to consider his local Child Protective Services Unit of his local governments' Social Services office. They might be able to offer a safe place for him to live. They might also be able to intervene. after assessing the situation, and offer counseling (if appropriate) for the entire family and resolution (or not) depending on their biases. Wishing him success in this transition and hopefully he will be in a better place literally and figuratively in a short time.

Regarding LW2, it's only "fine" if the husband is also OK with his wife not attending these "events." The most important thing is that the couple agrees on how they spend their time. If the wife wants to stay home with the grandkids, but the husband is insistent that she accompany him, then we have a problem.

I might add that I rather resent the notion that a woman has "paid her dues" after some arbitrary number of years into a marriage. The dues are never "paid"...marriage is a LIFELONG obligation and comittment to ensuring another person's happiness. (Yes, that goes both directions.) That doesn't expire just because a couple has been together three decades or however long. That holds true for sex, activities together, family events, whatever. Again, the "dues" are only "paid" when both partners agree that they are, and not a minute before.

"Ostracized" needs to know that there are resources in the GLBT community to help youth who are (all-too-commonly) in his situation. Here are the ones I'm aware of:
The Trevor Project has a 24-hour crisis and suicide prevention hotline for GLBTQ youth. 1-866-4-U-TREVOR or website http://www.thetrevorproject.org
The GLBT National Help Center provides telephone and e-mail counseling on a variety of issues. 1-888-THE-GLNH or http://www.glnh.org/
I wish him the best of luck.

Matt, I agree with you that marriage is a life-long commitment (although to view it as an "obligation" is kinda harsh; no one co-oherced me to marry my hubby) and that means both husband and wife should try to make each other happy. It sounds to me like the wife in this situation has spent many years making her husband happy and now simply wants to spend time alone at the house with her grandkids. And like Margo, I don't get the impression that the husband has a problem with that. True, the comment "paid her dues" irks me as well, because I don't think making someone happy is paying a duty. Rather it is the mark of a happy marriage. But if she's tired of contributing so much to her husband's hobbies and interests and wants to pursue her own, maybe a little compromise would come in handy. She could skip the secretarial post but still attend some functions. They could sell one or two cottages but she'd still go fishing with him once in a while. Stopping everything all at once seems sudden to me.

That poor young man! I hope he finds a safe place to land. I am the parent of a gay child and I've always told all my children I would love them no matter their circumstance. There is support out there just keep looking.

Gee, Matt, slavery is a lifetime deal, too. Does that make it right?

Sandy has a lot of guilt over doing what she could have been doing all along, considering her own wishes as well as her husband's. He sounds like he's not exerting any pressure, so she probably learned to please her husband by doing what he wanted, as many women do. Some of this is fine, but she has overdone it. Marie-Claude has the right answer--it's time to restore balance.

Men should not take it for granted that women are there primarily to please them. That's not a marriage. Marriage is a complex arrangement, with mutual pleasing having a part. But when one serves and the other is served, that's not marriage. That's...um...servitude. No one is entitled to that.