SR's advice to LW1 is good, but words like " a very small, wonderful, private school where children are encouraged to be themselves" scare me a bit for a couple of reasons.
First, I think very small schools are great for little kids (maybe until the age of 6 or 8), where the kids need a lot of individualized attention and hand-holding, but once they get a little older, I think - and of course this is just a personal view - kids need to start learning how not to be the center of everyone's attention and how to manage their behavior in larger, more ethnically, religiously, and economically diverse groups.
Second, I don't understand what the phrase "encouraged to be themselves" means. Does it mean that the kids are encouraged to explore their strengths and weaknesses and do extra stuff in the areas they are interested in and get extra help in the areas where they need it? Or does that mean "anything goes" and "we don't want to stifle a child's freedom to do whatever the little darling pleases"? If the former, such an atmosphere can be fostered in any kind of school, large or small, public or private. If the latter, it is bad in any kind of school, large or small, public or private.
I think LW1 is lucky that her children's school goes *only* through 8th grade. At least they will be likely to be out of a very sheltered environment by high school. If the current school is really good, then SR is right - the kids will adjust.

I went to a small private school until 3rd grade, when my parents placed me in public magnet schools through high school.

Several of my classmates from the small private school I attended ended up at my public high school (which was very highly regarded but also very large). Most of them seemed like deer in headlights for at least 2 years. A few adjusted really well - mostly the athletic kids who had a WIDE group of neighborhood friends (ie, beyond just the private school) that they knew in high school.

I was incredibly relieved that my parents took me out of that small environment. The school was VERY small and by middle school you really couldn't be 'yourself' because you had been labeled so early on - no room to grow and change. That could have just been my school, but I think the parent in L1 is smart to consider this issue. I think it depends on the child.

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