Dear John: I've recently started dating after four years of being widowed. I'm wondering how to tell the person I date that the thought of being intimate with someone else right now is still very disconcerting for me. After all, I've never been truly intimate with anyone besides late husband. I am nervous about this, and am not sure how to approach this subject if the question arises! -- New At This, in Port Townsend, Wash.

Dear New At This: You should approach the issue as you've done ...

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