creators home
creators.com lifestyle web
robert wallace

Recently

Mom Spoke in Frustration DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and have two older brothers. One is a year older and the other is two years older than I am. Our mother divorced our father about five years ago and the three of us live with our mother. I try to be a good, sweet kid, but nothing …Read more. Unconditional Love Is Forever DR. WALLACE: I read your column regularly and appreciate your handling of difficult teen problems. I'm the mother of three teenage daughters and would be thrilled if you could help me become a better parent. In a sentence or two, please give me …Read more. Quit Your Job and Play Basketball DR. WALLACE: I'm a good athlete, and this year I should be a starter on my high school basketball team. Last year I was considered the sixth man. My problem is that I have a good job as a waiter (I'm 18) in a nice restaurant and I make decent money. …Read more. Athletics Are Extra-Curricular Activities DR. WALLACE: You always say that high school athletics are a very important part of the total school program. I disagree because I hate sports and I really think they're a big waste of time and money. I agree that athletics could keep some kids out …Read more.
more articles

Your Cowardly Behavior is Unforgivable

Comment

DR. WALLACE: Rosa and I had been dating for over seven months and we were quite serious. Then one evening, I did something stupid. We got into a heated argument, and it ended abruptly when she called me stupid. Then I slapped her so hard in the face that I broke her glasses and cut her nose. When I took her home, she said that she never wanted to see me again. That same night, her father called me and said that if I ever got near his daughter again, he would cause me great pain.

I really miss Rosa and I know that she misses me. There is no way she could instantly turn off the love she showed me. I'm truly sorry for my stupid mistake. I know that it is going to take a little more time before I get her back. I'm asking you how I'm going to succeed with this task. I know she will forgive me. — Nameless, Miami.

NAMELESS: Your cowardly behavior with your ex-girlfriend is unforgivable! You are fortunate that you didn't wind up in jail because you deserved it.

Don't waste your time pursuing Rosa. She's not going to return to you. Instead, spend your time taking an anger management class and then behave as a gentleman when you are in the company of a young lady again.

Consider yourself fortunate that Rosa's father only threatened you with "great pain." Some fathers wouldn't have been so lenient! Your act was criminal, not a mistake.

TEACHERS SHOULD SET AN EXAMPLE

DR. WALLACE: Last week, we had our basketball banquet in our high school cafeteria.

The food was great and there was plenty of it. The drinks included white and chocolate milk and several flavors of Gatorade. One of the assistant coaches brought in a few cans of beer in a brown bag and drank that with his meal. But he also gave a few sips to a couple of the team members.

One of the parents called the school the next day complaining that her son was one of the players given beer. She is demanding that she talk with the coach, and she insists that he should be fired if he did bring the beer to the banquet.

The assistant coach is a popular teacher (physical education) and a good coach. Do you think that if he did bring the beer on campus that he should be fired? Or do you think (like most of the players) that he should be warned never to do that again, but be allowed to remain as a coach? Everybody is entitled to make a mistake one time. No one is perfect. — Nameless, Evansville, Ind.

NAMELESS: If, indeed, the coach brought beer on campus (error number one) and consumed it (error number two) and provided it to some of the basketball players (error number three), he should be released as a coach and as a physical education teacher. The coach showed extremely poor judgment. Teachers are supposed to set an example for students, not contaminate them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creator's Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2011 CREATORS.COM



Comments

3 Comments | Post Comment
LW2: I'm sure the assistant coach only considers himself a social drinker and not an alcoholic, even though this was a school sponsored event, he was the only one drinking (besides the students he illegally offered alcohol too), and he had to bring his own in a brown paper bag because none was being served. Not only should he be fired and banned from school grounds, he should probably be arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and given probation on the terms that he attend regular counseling to deal with his alcoholism. "Everybody is entitle to make a mistake?" His next mistake might be driving drunk and killing a car full of your classmates, do you really want to give him a pass this one time?
Comment: #1
Posted by: Nathan H.
Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:41 AM
LW1 wrote: I really miss Rosa and I know that she misses me. There is no way she could instantly turn off the love she showed me.
***
Yah, I bet that was what was going through her mind right before you lost control and hit her hard enough to break her glasses -- she felt safe with you. Guess what, buckeroo? You slapped that love right outta her; you got no right ever going to back to ask her forgiveness. None. She may miss what you once had, back when she trusted you not to use physical force against her. But she doesn't miss the you she now knows lurks within.

Dr. Wallace was right. Get yourself to a class to learn how to control your emotions rather than letting them control you. Then and only then should you even consider getting involved with another young lady. You really need to stop and see this action for what it is and the horrific fallout it will have in your life if you leave it unchecked.

LW2. He may have been a popular coach and teacher, but he was not a good one -- he was a dangerous one. People trust their children's well-being to the school -- there's no "do-overs" when it comes to kids' well-being. And if he ever had any glimmer of being a good teacher, he will recognize that the school is doing what it HAS to do to remain trusted in parents' eyes.

Actually, I'm a little surprised they didn't press charges against him.
Comment: #2
Posted by: hedgehog
Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:23 PM
In both letters today, the word "mistake" is used for a deliberate action. No. A "mistake" is when you get today mixed up with tomorrow, or forget something, or do something accidentally. But when these folks use "mistake" in this way, they're implying that they (or, in LW 2's case, the coach) didn't really mean to do something wrong. I must say, I really hate this usage. If LW #2 said "aw, my coach isn't that bad -- he deliberately broke the rule and the law multiple times" then we'd laugh at him. But he thinks if he calls it a mistake, it doesn't sound so bad.

And LW #1 is falling in the trap that most criminals and low-lifes do. "I couldn't help it." "She made me do it." "Just happened once." "It was a mistake." As if that can bring the dead back to life? Or un-hit an innocent girl?
Comment: #3
Posted by: Kiki
Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:22 PM
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right:  
Creators.com comments policy
More
Dr. Robert Wallace
Oct. `14
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
28 29 30 1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31 1
About the author About the author
Write the author Write the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month