'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: Last year, my grandmother visited Ireland and stayed at a bed and breakfast in Galway. The family that ran the B & B was really nice. Their son asked my grandmother if she could hook him up with a female pen pal from California. She told him about me.

When Grandma told me about Terrance, I told her I'd like to have an Irish pen pal, so I wrote to him first. We have been writing faithfully for over two years. We have exchanged photos and small Christmas gifts. His family has invited me to visit them after I graduate from high school in 2010. I'd really like that. I've seen movies of Ireland and know it's a beautiful country. Terrance has a steady girlfriend, so he and I are just great friends. I love receiving his letters and he says he looks forward to receiving mine.

Right now I'm dating Kevin. We have fun together, but he's the jealous type and gets angry if I look at other guys. That's why when I'm with him, my eyes are always on him. Kevin knows that Terrance is my pen pal and a good friend. Lately, he has been reading Terrance's letters. On the last letter, Terrance signed it "Lots of Love, Terry."

Now, Kevin wants me to stop writing to him because he's afraid Terrance and I might get together some time in the future. I told him I wasn't going to stop writing to Terrance. Kevin told me that if I didn't, our relationship would be over. What should I do? I really care for Kevin and I don't want to lose him.

— Nameless, Springfield, Mass.

NAMELESS: Kevin has crossed the line. He has absolutely no business telling you not to write to your pen pal — his jealousy is out of control. As with almost all possessive people, his urge to control and dominate keeps escalating. First, he forbade you to look at other guys. Now he's trying to dictate who you can write to. This will only get worse. I say, dump him. The sooner, the better.

YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR WORD

DR. WALLACE: Last week Rod invited me to be his date at our annual Winter Wonderland Dance. Only the senior prom is bigger, so since I really wanted to go to this dance, I said yes. Then yesterday Jordan also asked me to go with him to the dance. I would much rather go with Jordon, so I said that I would do what I could to drop Rod and go with him.

Can you tell me the best way to inform Rod that I have changed my mind without hurting him? — Nameless, Milwaukee.

NAMELESS: Keep your date with Rod! You're only as good as your word, and if you weasel out of a commitment because "someone better" comes along, you're setting up a bad situation.

What if you accepted Ted's invitation and then he canceled because he had a chance to go with a girl he decided he liked better? I think that you get the message.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM