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Love Is the Key to Successful Parenting
DR. WALLACE: I am a single parent of an 11-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. I had a lot of problems as a teen because my parents were super lenient in controlling me. Let's say I could do almost anything that I wanted with no questions asked.…Read more.
Give Intelligent Young Women a Break
DR. WALLACE: I'm angry that you encourage all girls, even the mentally, emotionally and physically mature young women who happen to be teenagers, not to get involved with older guys. You are dead wrong in your assumption that older guys and teenage …Read more.
Open and Honest Conversation Is Paramount
DR. WALLACE: Please tell me what to do. I'm 20, married three years and the mother of a 2-year-old son. I love my husband very much, but I'm lonely and depressed. My husband works 12 to 16 hours, 6 days a week. I have no friends, no job and no time …Read more.
My Friend's Mother Helps Her Cheat
DR. WALLACE: We have homework four days a week in world history. I do all my homework by myself, but my best friend's mother helps her with hers. I average a B on my homework, but my friend averages an A. I don't believe this is fair. Both of us are …Read more.
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We Don't Want to Hurt her Feelings, But...DR. WALLACE: My best friend, Emma, and I made friends with a new girl at our school because we felt sorry for her. She seemed lonely and didn't fit in. For about two weeks, Jade was sweet and nice, and we were glad she was our friend. But things changed in a hurry. First, she told me that Emma wasn't a true friend and that she was saying bad things behind my back. Then she told Emma that I was planning to drop her as a friend. She was trying to break up my friendship with Emma, and she almost succeeded. Now Emma and I want to end our "close" friendship with Jade, but we don't want to hurt her feelings. How can we do this? — Shelly, St. Catharines, Ontario. SHELLY: A direct, honest approach is almost always the best way to solve this type of problem. Talk to Jade about her unacceptable behavior. Make sure she knows that it is totally unacceptable, and that she has broken your trust. Hopefully, she'll get it and apologize. If she's evasive or defensive, suggest that she get involved in school activities and join a few clubs to find new friends. AFTER MARRIAGE, IT'S WE, NOT ME DR. WALLACE: Please allow me to respond to your answer to Angie in Frederick, Okla., who was living with her boyfriend. You said that she should either marry him or stay with her parents until she decided to get married. You were way off on your advice on this one. At 17, I got married to my first husband. He was so sweet when we were dating. He always did the right things and he never pressured me for sex. I was a virgin living at home at the time.
I lived with my second husband before we got married and discovered that he is a wonderful guy and remained that way after we were married. I'd advise Angie to keep living with her boyfriend until she is sure that she really knows him. It could save a divorce. — Cathy, Klamath Falls, Ore. CATHY: Living together actually hurts marriage. It's a myth that marriages will be more secure if couples live together first to find out if they are compatible. According to a 23-year study by sociologists William Axinn of the University of Chicago and Arland Thornton of the University of Michigan, living together before marriage "produces attitudes and values that increase the probability of divorce." The divorce rate for those living together first was 50 percent higher than for those who married, but didn't live together first. It appears that those who lived together before marriage lose their "freedom" when they marry and can't cope with the pressures of "we" instead of "me"! In your case, it appears that you didn't have the time to really get to know your first husband before getting married. Violent behavior and alcohol abuse rarely happen instantaneously. Had you dated your first husband longer, you might have uncovered his true character. Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
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