'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: Once in a while, I find myself joining my mother to watch soap operas on television. She's addicted to them and says they teach wonderful lessons on how to cope with life's problems. I find the soaps entertaining, but somehow I feel guilty when I watch them. I sense I'm wasting time, which could be spent on something more constructive. How do you analyze the soaps -- interesting and educational, or a waste of time? Why are females the ones who watch soaps? Have you ever watched a soap? -- Margo, Detroit.
   
MARGO: I can honestly say that I've never watched a soap opera, so my opinion is not based on first-hand experience. Since soap operas are shown during the prime afternoon time slots -- and since I was an educator, and my prime time was dedicated to my educational profession -- soap operas were not my top priority. In fact, watching any program during the day would be, for me, a waste of time, so I'd have to include watching soaps a waste of time.
   
It's a misconception that only females watch soaps, by the way. Many males are also wasting a lot of time waiting to see if "Linda and Bill will find true happiness by leaving the big city and moving to a small desert town." Soaps are so addictive that the major networks find it extremely difficult to pre-empt them for breaking news stories.
   
But maybe the soaps do serve a useful purpose. I'm also told that crime rates in many cities drop during the most popular daytime shows -- suggesting that even crooks are soap-opera fans!

MOM AND DAD LOVE EACH OTHER, BUT THEY SQUABBLE
   
DR. WALLACE: My mom and dad squabble a lot even though they love each other very much. Most of the squabbles are small, but occasionally they really hang one on. When they do, they both try to get me to side with them. I almost always side with my father and that makes my mother angry. I don't like that, but I have to be honest when they ask me who's right.
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o make things worse, my dad always gloats when I side with him and that makes my mom doubly upset. What can I do to make my dad stop gloating when he wins and to stop my mom from being so angry? When I side with Mom, she doesn't gloat and my dad doesn't get mad. That's why I'm happy when Mom wins, but that doesn't happen very often. -- Referee, Cumberland, Md.
   
REFEREE: When you referee your parents' squabbles, you place yourself in a no-win situation, as you have discovered. They're using your opinion as the "prize," which is childish and foolish. There's little you can do to make your parents behave more sensibly, except make yourself scarce the next time a fight breaks out. Once they learn they'll have to resolve their own arguments, maybe they'll start dealing with the underlying causes. And let's hope they start getting along better.
   
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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