'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have been seeing a certain guy. We've been dating for the past year. Whenever he calls to talk to me, my mother puts us on the speaker phone for her and anyone else in the house to hear. I think this is utterly ridiculous.

I'm a good kid and I hate being treated like a criminal. I do believe that people behind bars have more privacy than I do. I'm writing to you because my mother always reads your column and I'm positive you will agree with me. I've never given my parents a reason not to trust me. Furthermore, I happen to be vice president of the student body at school and a member of the National Honor Society.

Don't let me down! I'm tired of being treated like a baby. — Cindy, Naples, Fla.

CINDY: It's important for parents to be aware of what their children are doing, but there are times when parents go overboard in monitoring them. This appears to be one of those times. Parents must make a decision to trust their children and respect their right to privacy, so long as that trust remains unbroken.

Under the restrictions you describe, I'm positive you and your boyfriend don't talk to each other too often on the telephone.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH DERMATOLOGIST FOR ACNE PROBLEM

DR. WALLACE: I'm under a lot of stress at home. My parents are constantly screaming at each other; it looks like they might separate. This has been going on for about six months, and it gets worse every day. About six months ago my face started to break out, and now I've got a pimple and acne problem.

Is it possible that my complexion problem could be caused by stress? I know that eating junk food does not cause acne, but I'm not sure about stress. — Nameless, Hammond, La.

NAMELESS: It is possible, according to dermatologists, for an acne outbreak to be triggered by stress, but this would be a rare occurrence. Most stressful situations do not cause acne. It's important for you to get treatment from a licensed dermatologist for your complexion outbreak. With treatment, you may see improvement in a few weeks.

TEEN MOST LIKELY WON'T WIN CASE IF HE SUES TEACHER

DR. WALLACE: Do you think that I should sue my teacher? Yesterday a couple of friends and I were goofing off in class, and I put a few tacks on the chairs of the three nerds we have in the class. Two of the three sat on the tacks and let out loud howls. Naturally, the teacher asked me if I was involved and, being honest, I told the truth that I was the culprit.

Instead of giving me a detention, she blurted out that I was a stupid jerk. That caused the entire class to laugh. I felt like a fool and was totally embarrassed. My dad said that my teacher abused my civil rights and could be sued for a lot of money. Is this true? — Nameless, Nashua, N.H.

NAMELESS: Anybody can sue a person for "a lot of money." Winning a verdict is another story, especially in your case where the teacher is telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, MARCH 10, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

DON'T TELL BOYFRIEND ABOUT ABORTION UNLESS HE ASKS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and have found true love. He is 32, has never been married and owns the company I work for. We have been seeing each other for over six months and our future together looks rosy. He has asked me to help him pick out a ring for me. I'm really excited — and I truly love this guy with all my heart.

My only concern is that when I was immature at age 15 and living in Chicago, I got pregnant and my parents insisted that I have an abortion. Do you think I should share this information with my future husband?

My best friend thinks it would be better if I got this secret off my chest. She said that if he ever found out that he would drop me. I don't want that to happen. What do you think I should do? — Curious, Lake Charles, La.

CURIOUS: I discussed this moral issue with the leaders of three different faiths. All three said not to volunteer the information, but if asked, to tell the truth.

Their decision convinced me to agree.

TEEN NEEDS TO TALK TO OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 (almost 18) and really confused about my future. My 19-year-old sister ran away from home at 15 and was gone for two months. She came home for about a month, and then ran away again for about two years. She returned home on her 18th birthday. My parents were so happy to see her that they got her an apartment and paid rent for six months.

I am a good student, never caused my parents any problems and wouldn't dream of running away, even though I should have. Because of my sister's bad behavior, I got the punishment. I'll soon be 18, but I'm not allowed to date, have friends over to our house or be out past 9 p.m., even on the weekend.

My sister has said that I should move in with her after I graduate; I'm giving it serious consideration. All I would have to do is pay my share of the expenses. My sister has settled down. She has a steady job and a nice guy for a boyfriend. My parents would be very upset if I moved in with my sister.

What should I do? — Lenore, Fullerton, Calif.

LENORE: Given your sister's teenage behavior, I can see why your parents are overprotective of you. Unfortunately, this sort of parenting almost always boomerangs. Their restrictions are completely unreasonable and seem guaranteed to force you to rebel, just to have a normal social life.

The time has come to have a serious talk with Mom and Dad. If they are unwilling to relax their rules, tell them you plan to move in with your sister once you graduate. Since your sister has settled down, making this move strikes me as a reasonable option for you. I'm not even sure why it should upset your parents. All parents have to let go eventually.

PEER PRESSURE IS STRONGER THAN PARENTAL INFLUENCE

DR. WALLACE: I'm writing a paper in class comparing peer pressure with parental pressure on teens. Which is more dominant? — Amy, Jackson, Mich.

AMY: Peer pressure is more dominant. Teens fear being shunned and want to be accepted by their peers. Many teens will do things they don't feel comfortable with in order to gain acceptance.

That's why it is important for teens to hang out with other teens that possess high moral character. They won't be tempted to consume alcohol or experiment with illegal drugs, if their friends are drug- and alcohol-free.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

New Blended Family Will be Successful with Love, Courage and Common Sense

DR. WALLACE: I have a 17-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. They are good kids. Recently, I married a man who has custody of three young children: ages 6, 4 and 3. I love my new family and don't foresee any problems because of the children's age difference. My mother thinks the children might fight among themselves, which will cause my husband and me to fight. Do you see the children's age difference as a major concern? — Mom, Vero Beach, Fla.

MOM: The age differences are by no means an insurmountable problem. Just be sure your daughter and son do not start giving orders and assume the role of "boss" of the younger children. There's no reason your new marriage cannot be successful. All that is needed is plenty of love, courage and common sense — just what all families need.

TEEN WANTS TO AVOID FATHER'S MEAN WORDS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and am constantly battling my father, who never gives me credit for anything I do. He gets on my case for the smallest things. For example, yesterday he got upset because I didn't shut the garage door tight after I put my bike away. Because of my mistake, he called me a stupid ingrate. When I told him I was tired of hearing his unkind words, all he said was, "If you don't like it around here, leave."

He says that all the time. If I decide to go live with a friend's family, could my dad force me to return home after he told me to leave? I'm really considering leaving, and my friend said I could live with his family. — Nameless, Michigan City, Ind.

NAMELESS: When your father says to leave if you don't like it, what he's really saying is that he's not about to change the way he operates, so you'd better get used to it.

If you did decide to leave, your father could — and I'm quite sure he would — insist that you return home.

TEEN MUST TELL INVOLVED PARTIES ABOUT PREGNANCY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and have a major problem. I dated Richard for two years; it was a very rocky relationship. About two months ago, I broke up with him for good. I told him to quit using cocaine or he would lose me. He chose cocaine. Last month I saw him for the last time. He decided to move to Florida and live and work with his father who is a commercial fisherman.

Shortly after Richard left, I started dating Anthony. We met at a party and hit it off in grand style. I really care for Anthony — much more than I cared for Richard.

My problem is that I just found out that I'm pregnant and Richard is the baby's father. What should I do? Should I tell Anthony? Should I call Richard and tell him the "good" news? I know his cell number.

Please hurry with your answer. I'm really confused. I live alone with my mom and I haven't told her yet. — Nameless, Lynn, Mass.

NAMELESS: The first person you need to talk with should be your mother. Many decisions have to be made soon. A good choice might be to have the baby and give it to a loving couple through adoption.

It is also important that you tell Richard you're pregnant and that he's the father.

Having chosen cocaine over you, he probably won't be capable of giving you emotional or monetary support, but he should know. You also need to tell Anthony. It is far better that he hears about it from you than to find out on his own. Above all, do not isolate yourself with your "problem." Those who truly love you will rally to your side.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, MARCH 12, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Ask the Guy if He Still Wants to Go Out

DR. WALLACE: About a month ago, Kevin asked me to go out with him. I see him at school every day, but I think he's avoiding me since I turned him down.

Well, I've changed my mind and now I'd like to go out with him. What should I do to let him know that I'd like to go out? — Nameless, Rochester, Minn.

NAMELESS: Since he was interested in going out with you before, it's a good bet he still is. He's already been rejected, so don't wait for him to initiate things — you might wait forever. Make his day by telling him that you'd like to ask him out. He'll be surprised and very happy (if he doesn't already have a new girlfriend).

DISCUSS NEW FAITH VALUES WITH PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and dating a guy of another religious faith. I've gone to his services several times and like what I see and hear. I currently decided to embrace my boyfriend's religion for two reasons. First, I like it and, if we get married, I'll have a head start in understanding it.

The problem is that my parents are very involved in their religion and are furious at the thought of me deserting their faith and embracing another. What should I do? I really love my boyfriend. Even if we separated, I'd still change faiths. My parents are Baptists and my boyfriend is Catholic. — Nameless, Talladega, Ala.

NAMELESS: While you surely have the right to choose your own religious faith, you will encounter less resistance from your parents once you are 18 and on your own.

I advise you to approach the subject respectfully and tactfully, since I am sure it must pain them to feel they are "losing" you to another religion. When you discuss this with them, point out the religious values you continue to share with them, even if you attend services at a different place of worship. Perhaps this will ease their anxiety.

TEEN MAKES A CLEAN START AFTER DRUG USE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and a very happy and fortunate individual. Fifteen months ago, I was busted for drunken driving and possession of marijuana. Instead of sending me to jail, the judge said he'd put me on probation for a year if I enrolled in night school to finish my high school education and get my diploma. I needed three more credits.

I was also required to start attending a place of worship. Since jail wasn't an option I liked, I agreed to the judge's conditions. I fully intended to earn my diploma in that year, but dump the religious stuff the day my probation ended.

In the past 15 months I have earned my high school diploma, but more importantly, I am still attending the church, even though my probation ended three months ago. Since going to this church, my life has changed from being hectic and disorganized to harmonious, organized and happy.

The church members knew about my reason for attending, but they accepted me with open arms. They care about me and have helped guide me to a life of total sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous. I've learned to give all my problems to the Almighty, and soon after my problems melt away.

Please print my letter. I want to share my new life with all the young people who read your column. — Ramon, Santa Ana, Calif.

RAMON: Thanks for writing, Ramon. I'm sure your letter will be an inspiration to many readers. Instead of resenting your "punishment," you took it in the best possible way and became a better person. Congratulations on your new life!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, MARCH 13, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Deserves to go on a Date with Boyfriend

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have overly strict parents. They refuse to let me to go out on a date until I'm 17, but they do allow me to have a boyfriend (also 16), which I appreciate. But since we can't go out, the only time we can spend together is at my house when one of my parents is home. This means we can never share a few moments together without a parent watching us. We've been together at my house five times in the past month and have only been able to kiss once — that was a very short peck.

Both of us are good students and citizens. We attend church regularly and have high moral standards. I'm not asking for a date night with a midnight curfew. All I want is to be able to go out for an early evening snack and a movie (G-rated, of course). I'd even be willing to have mom or dad drive us to and from the restaurant and theater.

I'm trustworthy and feel my parents should trust me to do what's right when they're not watching me. After all, I doubt if there would be any hanky-panky taking place in a crowded restaurant or theater. My parents both read your column "just to keep up with the teen scene." They agree with your advice about 80 percent of the time — trust me, that's a very high percentage for them.

Please give me your opinion. Should we be trusted to go on a date alone, even if one of my parents has to chauffeur us? — Nameless, Elizabeth, Ky.

NAMELESS: Most teens start dating at age 15 or 16, depending on their social maturity. Before dating, a teen must demonstrate that he or she is trustworthy and possesses the ability to make good decisions.

It appears to me that you and your boyfriend qualify for an evening out on your own now and then. Parents must learn to put confidence in their children. And they should continue trusting them, and expanding that trust, so long as it isn't violated. Let's hope your parents agree. Being your chauffeur should offer them peace of mind.

FOOD INTAKE ISN'T LINKED TO ACNE

DR. WALLACE: Please tell my dear grandmother, whom I love very much, that french fries will not cause me to have a bad complexion. I eat a lot of fries (yes, I know they're considered junk food). Every time my grandmother sees me eat them, she gives me a lecture on fries and acne. Please set her straight. — Carly, Gary, Ind.

CARLY'S GRANDMOTHER: French fries encourage weight gain, but they won't cause complexion problems. Pimples and acne are caused by active oil glands in the skin, which block the pores. This backup of oil causes the issue. The excess oil is produced during adolescence and has nothing whatsoever to do with food consumption.

TEEN NEEDS TO BE TESTED FOR POSSIBLE STD

DR. WALLACE: There's a possibility that I've contracted a venereal disease. I don't want to go into all the details, but the person I had unprotected sex with later said he had this certain venereal disease. He went to a clinic, received treatment and said I should do the same thing "just in case."

My girlfriend said it was highly unlikely I caught the disease, and even if I did, it would eventually go away. Is this true? Obviously, I don't want my parents to be contacted. — Nameless, Toledo, Ohio.

NAMELESS: No sexually transmitted disease will go away without proper treatment. It is imperative that you be tested for it. Then you can receive treatment if necessary. All local health departments provide free testing and parents will not be notified.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, MARCH 14, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Shouldn't Worry About Cousin's Relationship

DR. WALLACE: I have an 18-year-old cousin who concerns me. I realize this is none of my business, but I feel something must be done. He is a senior and his girlfriend is a junior; they have been dating for about a year. No one can understand why my cousin is dating this girl. She is controlling, extremely immature and cries when she doesn't get her way. No one I know likes her. From what I understand, she has a not-so-good reputation, yet she enjoys spreading rumors about others.

My aunt and uncle have gone to great lengths to get their son away from this girl, but so far nothing has been successful. His answer is always the same: "I love her."

Do you agree that my cousin should stop seeing this girl and, if your answer is yes, what can I do to get him to dump her? — Nameless, Sidney, Ohio.

NAMELESS: Since his parents can't break up this relationship, I doubt that you can. Forget about your cousin's situation and go about living your own life.

AVOID TELLING BOYFRIEND ABOUT CRUSH

DR. WALLACE: Ryan and I have been dating for over six months. During the holidays, he went to Ontario, Canada, with his family to visit his grandparents. He was gone a week. During that time, I met Jamie at a party and went out with him the next night. Of course, I didn't say anything to Ryan about my date with Jamie, but now I think more about being with Jamie than with Ryan.

Should I tell Ryan about going out with Jamie (this would really hurt him), or should I just tell Ryan that I want my freedom? I'm positive that Jamie and I can become an item. We both have "chemistry" for one another. — Connie, Baltimore.

CONNIE: Tell Ryan that you want to end the relationship and let it go at that. Hurting him by talking about your crush on Jamie would serve no useful purpose.

TEEN NEEDS TO OBEY PARENTS AND SHARE ROOM WITH SISTER

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have a 14-year-old sister. We each have our own bedroom. About a month ago, our grandfather died and my parents decided that our grandmother should live with us — until they can sell her house and find an apartment for her. They think all of this will take about three months. Since we don't have an extra bedroom, it was decided (against my wishes) that Grandma will use my sister's bedroom and my sister will move into my room.

I hate this arrangement. I have nothing against my sister, but we are both teens and, as you have said many times, teens need some privacy.

I'm upset because my sister would rather stay in her bedroom, sharing it with Grandma, than move all her junk into my bedroom. But my parents think it would be better for Grandma to have her own room.

My parents are aware of your column, and there is a chance they will accept your opinion if you agree with me. — Nameless, San Luis Obispo, Calif.

NAMELESS: It's true that teens do need time to be alone. Having your own bedroom is ideal, if it is manageable. But since Grandma is going to live with your family for about 90 days and your parents want her to have a bedroom by herself, you should do all you can to cooperate and to make Grandma feel welcome.

The good that will come from this temporary arrangement is that you will probably enjoy your private moments a lot more when your sister returns to her own room.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.