'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I'm mad as heck and don't know what to do about it. I received a B in World History for the semester. I earned an A, no doubt about it. The teacher is my mother's brother, so, unfortunately, that makes him my uncle. When I asked him why my grade was a B instead of an A, he said that if he gave me an A, people would think that he did so just because we are related.

I think this is terrible. I'm a good student and good grades are important to me. I told my uncle that I was going to discuss my grade with the principal. He said I could do anything that I want, but the principal doesn't have the authority to change a grade; the teacher is the only one who can do that. I talked to my mom about this, and she said to forget about it and that a B is a good grade. Yes, a B is a good grade, but not when the student has earned an A. What should I do? — Nameless, Dallas.

NAMELESS: Your uncle made a huge mistake. I hope he will admit it and give you the grade you earned. His decision to lower your grade is totally unprofessional, unacceptable, disgraceful and stupid.

Even if school is out for the summer, many principals work 11 months per year, so your principal might be on campus. Check it out. If he or she is there, explain your situation. If the principal is already on vacation, talk with him or her, with a parent present, as soon as you can. This is a situation worth pursuing. If you earned an A, you should get an A — even from your father or mother, not to mention your uncle. Your parents need to have a "heart-to-heart" chat with your uncle immediately!

Grades are personal. What makes your uncle think that the entire population of Dallas would be aware that he assigned the A that you honestly earned?

TEEN EXPRESSES ANGER WITH HURTFUL GIRLS

DR. WALLACE: I'm really tired of guys taking a browbeating in your column, and I'm sure most guys feel the same way. All those stories about "poor girls being taken advantage of by us mean guys" make me sick.

Let me tell you about these "poor girls." One of their old tricks is to go out with us only to make their ex-boyfriends jealous. Many times this causes us to get into fistfights. How about the gold diggers who make us pay for everything and then don't even say, "Thank you"?

What do you think about the girls who wear slinky, skintight clothes, and then complain if we get a little aggressive? And girls have been known to collect as many friendship rings as possible just to keep all of them. (Diamonds are a girl's best friend.)

I'm sure you realize that some females are known to break as many hearts as they can. They collect broken hearts like a gunslinger counts victims.

I realize that all boys are not perfect, but neither are the girls. Personally, I don't think you will print this letter. But at least I got this off of my chest. — Ron, Ames, Iowa.

RON: Sounds like you've been a "victim" of girls who like to take advantage of guys! Hang in there. There are many young ladies who expect to be treated as caring, intelligent equals and prefer guys with the same characteristics. You just haven't been looking in the right places.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: TUESDAY, JUNE 23, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Mom Worries that Daughter is Trying Cigarettes

DR. WALLACE: I'm a single mother who needs your assistance. I have a 16-year-old daughter, and lately she smells like smoke, including her breath. She says she's not experimenting with cigarettes, but I know she is.

Please print the dangers of using tobacco. She reads your column and once in a while agrees with you, but she does read it every day. — Mom, Oakland, Calif.

MOM'S DAUGHTER: It appears that you are starting to use tobacco products or are hanging around with teens that smoke. I'm printing some info on the dangers of smoking, courtesy of the American Cancer Society and the American Lung Association, just for you:

Smokers die younger than nonsmokers do. Smokers who smoke less than 10 cigarettes a day have a death rate 30 percent higher than that of nonsmokers; and the rate is 100 percent higher for pack-a-day smokers. Smoking causes 390,000 needless deaths per year in the United States due to cancer, heart disease and strokes.

Pregnant women who smoke have more premature births and low-weight babies than nonsmokers do. This is because women smokers absorb gases, including carbon monoxide, into their bloodstream, cutting off the baby's oxygen supply.

Secondhand smoke (inhaling someone else's cigarette smoke) affects the nonsmoker in much the same way as the smoker. Smoke drifting off the end of a cigarette contains even more tar and nicotine than the smoke inhaled by the smoker.

Be wise — DON'T SMOKE! Your body will thank you.

TEEN NEEDS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR PARENTS' COLLEGE FUNDS

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend is attending the University of Hawaii on a football scholarship. I will be graduating in a week and have been accepted at U of H; I would really like to go there. However, my parents refuse to let me go because they worry I will be too far away from home.

I don't think they understand that I'm an independent young woman who is quite capable of taking care of herself. They want me to attend Chapman University in nearby Orange, Calif. (Ugh!) Don't you agree that I should be given the freedom to select the school of my choice? After all, it's my future and my life we are talking about. — Meghan, Newport Beach, Calif.

MEGHAN: Chapman University is an excellent school and will provide you with a wonderful education. There are worse fates.

Don't forget that simply attending college is a great privilege. Many teens that could qualify won't be going to college for a number of reasons, mainly a lack of funds.

Consider yourself fortunate that your parents can afford your formal education. I agree with your parents. If our daughter were in a similar situation, she would be attending Chapman University.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Mother Offers Advice and Guidance to Unwed, Pregnant Teen

DR. WALLACE: I am responding to a letter from Mary who is 15, pregnant, and afraid to tell her mom.

I, too, became pregnant when I was 15 because my boyfriend wanted me to "prove" my love. I was afraid to tell my mom and, in fact, I even thought of committing suicide. After exhausting all possible solutions, I finally went to my mom and she became my best friend. Instead of making me feel like a tramp, she was understanding, kind and did what she could to help me.

A pregnant, scared, unwed teenage girl doesn't need a lecture on what she did wrong. Believe me, she already knows.

My life isn't easy, and even though I am only 18, I feel much older and wiser. My son and I are now living with my parents and I look to the future with much optimism.

Thanks, Mom! — Loralei, Indianapolis.

LORALEI: A pregnant, unwed teen might have a better person to turn to than her mother, but I can't imagine whom that would be. Thanks for taking the time to help a fellow teen with excellent advice!

CONDOMS AREN'T 100 PERCENT EFFECTIVE AGAINST AIDS OR PREGNANCY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 19. We have been dating for over three months. Recently, we have started a sexual (no comments, please) relationship. My two concerns are AIDS and pregnancy. Each and every time my boyfriend and I are sexually active, he uses a condom. I realize that no form of contraception is 100 percent effective, but I'm quite sure condom use is as good as it gets. Your comments will be appreciated. — Courtney, Atlanta.

COURTNEY: Please read the following letter written by a medical doctor. You will appreciate his comments much more than mine:

DR. WALLACE: As a physician, I read your column to see what teens are thinking these days. One young lady felt she was doing her part for "safe sex" by demanding that her boyfriend wear a condom when they have sex.

As a medical doctor, I have seen surgical gloves fresh out of the wrapper with as many as 12 holes in them. The same company that makes the surgical gloves is also the manufacturer of condoms. Condoms are only considered 90 percent effective for preventing pregnancy and the transmission of diseases. The only safe way for unmarried teens to avoid pregnancy and disease is to abstain from sexual contact.

On at least three occasions, patients of mine were found to be HIV positive, and all of their sexual contacts were performed with the benefit of a condom. — Dr. Rob, Miami.

SHAVING DOESN'T LEAD TO THICKER LEG HAIR

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and have a lot of hair growing on my legs.

CYNTHIA: Shaving your legs will not increase the thickness of hair. But before you start shaving your legs regularly, have your family doctor recommend methods that are more effective and less time consuming.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: THURSDAY, JUNE 25, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Teen and Mom Need to Communicate Without Emotions Getting in the Way

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 15-year-old girl, and my mom and I don't get along very well. In fact, we argue and yell at each other a lot. I've tried to end fighting with Mom, but I can't seem to get her to stop arguing with me.

Yesterday, she said the big problem is that she does everything for me and I do nothing for her. I told her that I do a lot for her, and then we got into another big yelling match. I really love my mom and I know she loves me. What can I do to get this problem stopped? — Bethany, Clinton, Iowa.

BETHANY: Yelling and arguing are symptoms of communication breakdown. The situation between Mom and you is so charged with emotion at this point that the simplest discussion triggers an explosion. Right now, figuring out how to have a civil conversation is far more important than the actual grievances you want to discuss.

Try this: When you both are in good moods, take Mom out for a snack and discuss things without raising your voices. When the chat ends, tell Mom you love her and want with all your heart to make her feel good.

If you both cultivate the habit of showing respect for one another, the screaming bouts will be history.

PAST DRUG USAGE WON'T AFFECT FUTURE CHILDREN

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and engaged to a wonderful guy. We plan to get married in two years, once he graduates from college.

When I was 15, I experimented with marijuana. I smoked about a dozen joints over a nine-month period. I did not try any other kind of drug except beer. Because of my past history with marijuana, I'm starting to worry that my children might have birth defects. My fiance doesn't know about my little experiment. I've chosen not to tell him, unless there is a chance that our future children would be defective because of my past stupidity. What can you tell me about this? — Nameless, Baltimore.

NAMELESS: I checked with my family physician and was informed that your experiment with marijuana five years ago would have no ill effects on children you might have in the future. It's when a mother-to-be indulges in illegal drugs, tobacco or alcohol that the health of the newborn child could be affected.

When you do become pregnant, follow your doctor's instructions faithfully and a healthy baby will bless your family.

AVOID SMOKING CORN SILK WITH FRIEND

DR. WALLACE: My friend saves all the corn silk whenever she cleans corn for her mom. She then puts it in the oven and dries it (her mom doesn't know). Then, after she lets it "cure" for a month or more, she smokes it in a pipe. She says it's great and wants me to try it. She says that it won't hurt me to inhale the smoke because it's not tobacco.

Her grandfather taught her how to cure corn silk for smoking purposes. He still smokes it regularly, and he is over 75 years old. I'm curious to find out what smoking corn silk feels like. Will it hurt me? — Nameless, Dothan, Ala.

NAMELESS: Lungs are not intended to function as smoke filters, regardless of the substance smoked. Furthermore, all smoke contains toxic chemicals that are harmful to lung tissues. Stay away from corn silk, please. And make sure your friend reads my answer!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: FRIDAY, JUNE 26, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Father is Charging His Son Too Much for Car Damage Payment

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and a very safe driver. Last week, I borrowed my parents' car to go to work because my car was low on gas. When I was ready to come home, I saw that a car had backed into the passenger-side door. I told my dad about it when I got home, and he didn't seem too upset.

The following day he took the car to a repair shop, and the bill to fix it was $560. My dad has a $100 deductible insurance policy for collision, so the insurance company would cover $460 of the total. I told him I'd pay the other $100, since I was using the car when it was damaged. He said he had to think things over.

I thought he was going to think about whether I should pay the $100, but the next day he floored me by saying I had to pay him the full $560. His reasoning was that he had to pay for the insurance, and the company would surely raise his premium because of the claim. I told him this wasn't fair. He said it was fair and there would be no further discussion.

I work part time after school and during the summer. He said that he would accept $25 a week until the debt was paid. I think this is outrageous! He's making a $460 profit on my misfortune. I called the insurance company and was told that my dad's premium would not be raised for a dinky $460 payout. I'm not going to discuss this incident with my father anymore. I'm going to honor his request.

Still, I think I got shafted. After all, I didn't cause the accident. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself and should happily pay the extra $460. That's why I'm asking how you see all this. I know one thing, I'll never ask to use the family car again, and I'm going to be upset with my father for many moons. — Nameless, Mobile, Ala.

NAMELESS: I see no reason why your father is making you pay $560 when the insurance company paid $460. Your offer to reimburse your father $100 was more than fair and he should have graciously accepted. Shame on him! I hope he sees the error of his logic and does what any loving and reasonable parent would do — be happy his 17-year-old child offered to pay the deductible, so the parent wouldn't be out any money for a "fender bender" that really wasn't caused by the child's negligence. I would think that dad flunked his Parenting 101 class and should re-enroll.

BIRTH CONTROL PILL PREVENTS EGGS FROM LEAVING OVARIES

DR. WALLACE: I'm not sexually active, but I do have a question about birth control. I know that "the pill" is an effective way to eliminate pregnancy. But how does it work? — Nameless, Miami.

NAMELESS: The pill is made of synthetic compounds similar to the hormones produced by your body. When taken regularly in the dosage prescribed by a doctor, the pill stops pregnancy by preventing the ovaries from releasing eggs. When no egg is released, there can be no pregnancy.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: SATURDAY, JUNE 27, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Mother Tells Parents to Appreciate and Love Their Children

DR. WALLACE: I am an avid reader of your column for teens. I don't always agree with your philosophy, but I would say I'm with you 90 percent of the time, so that "ain't" too bad.

Some time ago, you printed a letter from a mother whose daughter had been killed when a truck plowed into the car she was driving. I have never forgotten the message of the distraught mother, who pleaded with parents to love their children every day because it could be their last day on earth.

I am now a grandmother, and I'd like the daughter of these grandchildren to have the opportunity to read this mother's letter. Will you please print it again? — Grandma, Gary, Ind.

GRANDMA: I'm pleased to grant your request:

DR. WALLACE: I am not a teenager; I'm a 38-year-old woman. I'm writing this letter to the many parents who read your column. I had a wonderful, intelligent daughter, but she was cruelly taken from me one wintry night when a pickup truck skidded out of control and plowed into her car. She was killed instantly.

I have come to accept the fact that it was an accident. Speed, alcohol or unsafe drivers were not an issue. Both my daughter and the driver of the truck, who also was killed, were wearing seat belts.

What I can't accept is the fact that I could have been a better parent. When she brought home outstanding grades, I said, "That's nice, but you should have done better." When she completed her chores satisfactorily, I should have told her thanks, that her help was appreciated. But I didn't. I said, "I think your room isn't clean enough."

When she bought me an expensive gift for Christmas, I should have thrown my arms around her and said, "Thank you, darling, I love you so much." Instead, I complained that she was spending her money foolishly and encouraged her to return it to the store. When she asked for a puppy for her 16th birthday, I told her no because pets are a nuisance. I should have given her the pet, a doghouse and a year's supply of dog food because she was a wonderful daughter and deserved to be happy.

When she wanted to borrow my favorite coat, I told her no, "Because you might spill something on it." I should have said, "Yes, you are the light of my life and everything I possess in this world is also yours."

And, finally, on the last day I saw her alive, I should have told her that I loved her with all my heart and soul and that she was the love of my life. Instead, I told her that if she wasn't home by 11 p.m. sharp that she would be put on restriction for a month.

Parents, please take what I say seriously. The most precious assets you have are your children. Treat them with respect, kindness and love and guide them with wisdom; they will mature into wonderful adults. You still have that opportunity. I don't and never will again. — Mom, Des Moines, Iowa.

MOM: Thanks for your touching letter. It will cause many moms and dads to re-evaluate their parenting.

You are being severely critical of yourself. As I read between the lines of your letter, I can see that you were a compassionate parent who was deeply loved by her daughter.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.