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Pros and Cons About Teen Sex
DR. WALLACE: I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm an avid reader of your column. I went away to a high school in another town. Since your column is not printed in this town's newspaper, my parents send them to me. In the latest package that I received, I found two particular letters hitting close to home.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 16 months. Since I live eight hours from home, we are classified as a "long-distance" relationship. We share a common faith. Awhile ago, we talked about having sex and agreed that we would not because it was against our religion.
Recently, however, we (at least I) had been thinking about it more since I will be seeing him soon. However, after giving it a lot of thought, I have once again become sure of my original choice.
I have made a list of pros and cons about teen sex and I'd like to share it with your readers.
— We could become closer.
— It could be harder to be apart.
— We could lose respect for ourselves.
— We could disregard everything that our parents have taught us.
— We could disregard everything that the Bible teaches us.
— We would lose our virginity.
— I'm 16 and he is 17; however, having sex before you are married is wrong no matter what the age.
— Since I go to a private Christian school, if it were found out that I was having sex, I would be asked to leave.
— If I were to become pregnant, we both would lose any sort of social life and be disgraced.
— More than likely we would lose one another, or lose respect for one another.
This last comment is based on the two letters that you printed in your column from girls who made the wrong decision. They reported that their relationships were broken off because of sex.
NAMELESS: Thanks for your thoughts on premarital sex. It will help many teens make the right decision.
SMILE AND SAY 'SEE YA LATER'
DR. WALLACE: Brittany, Shelly and I are best friends and have been for a very long time. I love them dearly. The problem is that Brittany and Shelly seem to be closer friends and I'm sort of being left out.
I'm aware of the reason. Both of them are dating two guys who are best friends and I'm not dating anyone. This is the first romance for both of them and they are very excited about it. Whenever the three of us are together (usually at lunch), Brittany and Shelly dominate the conversation with talk about their boyfriends. When I ask a question, they always say, "Julie, you just wouldn't understand." All three of us used to pass notes to each other in English, but now they only write notes to each other. I'm left out.
I know that they are not intentionally shunning me, but I feel that I don't have much in common with them these days. I feel lost and alone and need your advice. I'm just not ready to get involved with boys yet. Oh, by the way, all of us are 15. — Julie, South Bend, Ind.
NAMELESS: It's great that you understand the reason why your close friends are spending less time with you. Once girls start dating, it's perfectly natural for them to make boys a major topic of conversation.
You should think about making friends with girls who have more in common with you. One way to do this is to become active in some school activities. Not only are these often learning experiences, but they will also give you the opportunity to make new friends. Continue to be friends with Brittany and Shelly, but when you feel uncomfortable around them, smile and say, "See ya later."
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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