'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and a very confused young lady. My boyfriend just got out of prison. He was in for a year and a half, and for the entire time, we faithfully wrote to each other. I went through torment with my family because of this guy, but I didn't care because I loved him so much.

When he was in prison, he wrote that he loved me and that when he got out we would be together forever. Well, when he got out he saw me only once. When I call him, he always says he's busy. He never gave me a reason why he won't see me.

I still love this guy even though he's hurt me very much. What should I do? — Serena, Toronto, Ontario.

SERENA: People who have "restricted mobility," such as those in the military or in prison, almost always crave mail. They need to be wanted and remembered by those they were forced to leave behind, and their romantic eloquence may not always be sincere.

But reality is another matter. Sometimes, after the person has been discharged or released, he'll find himself unable to handle a serious relationship. There's no telling what's going on in your boyfriend's mind, but it seems not to have much to do with you.

I think you need to move on with your life. Don't sit at home waiting for his call. Go out with friends and start living again. You've had your life on hold long enough.

MOM, DON'T REMARRY ON MY BIRTHDAY

DR. WALLACE: My father died three years ago, and this hurt me deeply because I loved him very, very much. He always referred to me as "Daddy's Little Girl," even though I was 14 when he died. I am now 17 and will graduate from high school this June. It took me two years to adjust to life without a father.

Then about a year ago, my mother started dating Fred. He is all right but, of course, could never take the place of my dad. Last week, Mom told me that she and Fred were going to get married. I was totally shocked.

I told mom I don't want her to get married until after I leave for college this September. She said they are getting married on April 10, and she isn't going to change the date. That also happens to be my birthday. Do you think I am being selfish with my request? — Nameless, Orlando, Fla.

NAMELESS: I understand your feelings and would not say you're being selfish, just sensitive. But I would encourage you to accept your mom's decision to remarry and give it your blessing. She needs your love and support now more than ever. Mom's happiness is of the utmost importance.

MY TWIN DATES, BUT I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE DATING!

DR. WALLACE: My twin brother and I are both 16. He has dated over a half dozen girls already, but I'm not allowed to date until I turn 17. I think this parental decision is unfair to say the least. Please give me your thoughts on this. — Samantha, Cleveland.

SAMANTHA: I receive many letters and e-mails from girls who have more strict dating rules than their brothers. My answer is always the same: Those parents need to rethink their double standard.

Parents have the duty to equally teach their children all of the responsibilities of dating and to instill equally high moral standards. To hold a brother to a more lax standard than his sister sends the wrong message to both of them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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