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It's Time to Say You're Sorry

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DR. WALLACE: My cousin, who's a friend, had been going with Clyde on and off for over a year. On Christmas Eve, Clyde called me and said that he broke up with her and asked me to attend a New Year's party with him. I said yes, and we have gone out about a half a dozen times since.

Last week, my cousin came over to our house for a visit and when I was finishing my homework, my bigmouth, younger sister told my cousin that Clyde and I are dating. Apparently, my cousin didn't know this. When she saw me later, she went into a frenzy. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't cool down. Finally, I told her to get out of my house and never come back. As she was leaving, she called me Brutus. I'm well aware that he was the one who stabbed his best friend, Julius Caesar, in the back with a knife.

My sister and my mother think that I owe my cousin an apology. I don't think so. I didn't do anything wrong. I only started getting interested in Clyde when he said that he wasn't interested in my cousin anymore. Our house is in a big turmoil since all this happened. What should I do? - Nameless, Jackson, Miss.

NAMELESS: Any time someone orders a friend out of her house, an apology is necessary. You lost your "cool," so be mature enough to admit it. Don't allow your pride to keep you from correcting a huge mistake on your part.

Call or email your cousin today and say, "I'm sorry," and apologize for your unacceptable behavior. If she doesn't accept your apology now, she might at a later time.

I WANT MY BOYFRIEND BACK

DR. WALLACE: I went with Richard for about three months, and then I broke up with him because I was bored. That was two months ago, and my thoughts have changed. I want Richard back. I've dated about five different guys and when I compare them with Richard, my old boyfriend always comes out on top. My problem is that Richard is dating another girl who just happens to be my best friend. What should I do? I want Richard back, but I don't want my best friend to get mad at me. I'm 17 and so is Richard. - Valerie, Alameda, Calif.

VALERIE: You've dated five different guys; make it six, seven and eight or until you date a guy who has "potential." In no way should you tamper with Richard while he is dating your best friend. You don't want to lose the friendship of a best friend, and don't be so sure Richard is as eager to get back together as you are.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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Comments

4 Comments | Post Comment
Apologize for what? Ordering cousin out of the house, sure. But apologize for dating Clyde -- who was fair game? Heck no!
Comment: #1
Posted by: VAdame
Mon Feb 6, 2012 3:31 AM
LW 1 absolutely does not need to apologize for having the backbone to not allow her cousin freak out on her in her own home.
You may, however, want to consider apologize to your cousin for dating her boyfriend so soon after they broke up.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Shannon
Mon Feb 6, 2012 5:34 AM
Yes, LW1, you owe your cousin an apology, big time.

You certainly know there was something "wrong" about dating Clyde so soon after he broke up with your cousin, or you would have mentioned it to your cousin long before your "big-mouth" sister spilled the beans. Although you and Clyde are both free agents, it is a courtesy to sound out the friend first in a situation like this, because it indicates respect for her feelings. You don't need her blessing or permission, but by not telling her, you opened up the possibility that someone ELSE would tell her the juicy gossip, or that she'd see you together, when she was least expecting it. That's just cruel, far crueler than she'd have a right to expect from you if you call yourself her friend.

Do the mature thing and apologize.



Comment: #3
Posted by: hedgehog
Mon Feb 6, 2012 4:37 PM
LW2 -- Richard is off-limits. Period. Unless, of course, you are looking to lose your best friend AND the possibility of going out with some guy who will drop his current commitment when a better offer winks at him.
Comment: #4
Posted by: hedgehog
Mon Feb 6, 2012 4:39 PM
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