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Love Is the Key to Successful Parenting
DR. WALLACE: I am a single parent of an 11-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. I had a lot of problems as a teen because my parents were super lenient in controlling me. Let's say I could do almost anything that I wanted with no questions asked.…Read more.
Give Intelligent Young Women a Break
DR. WALLACE: I'm angry that you encourage all girls, even the mentally, emotionally and physically mature young women who happen to be teenagers, not to get involved with older guys. You are dead wrong in your assumption that older guys and teenage …Read more.
Open and Honest Conversation Is Paramount
DR. WALLACE: Please tell me what to do. I'm 20, married three years and the mother of a 2-year-old son. I love my husband very much, but I'm lonely and depressed. My husband works 12 to 16 hours, 6 days a week. I have no friends, no job and no time …Read more.
My Friend's Mother Helps Her Cheat
DR. WALLACE: We have homework four days a week in world history. I do all my homework by myself, but my best friend's mother helps her with hers. I average a B on my homework, but my friend averages an A. I don't believe this is fair. Both of us are …Read more.
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In Short, Just be YourselfDR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and a sophomore in high school. My two best girlfriends, who are my age, both have boyfriends and keep encouraging me to start dating so I can join in the "fun" of having a boyfriend. I have spent time studying with a boy, but I have never gone out with a guy. Our high school has an annual Winter Carnival dance, and a guy in my drama class invited me to be his date for this dance. His invitation surprised me, but I told him that I would enjoy going to the dance with him. He also said that we should go out a few times before the big dance so we wouldn't be strangers. I told him that this would be a good idea. Now I'm really excited, but since I'm inexperienced when it comes to dating, I'd appreciate any tips you can give me. — Nameless, Great Falls, Mont. NAMELESS: Believe in yourself. Confidence is one of the greatest qualities you can have! Don't mold your personality to please a guy. When you put on an act, you're not fooling yourself and chances are you aren't fooling him either. In short, just be yourself. Let go of your expectations. Just because all of your friends seem to be paired up right now is no reason to charge into a date already thinking that he's your boyfriend. Take it one date at a time! Go slowly. Though your friends may be telling you that things are serious with the guys they're dating, don't rush into a relationship just to be like them. Take things slowly, and the odds are much better that the guy you're interested in will be interested in you. And, finally, set your mind on having a fun time and do all you can to have an enjoyable dance. If you arrive home happy, I'm positive your date will, too. YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING DR. WALLACE: I've got a problem and don't know how to solve it. My parents are both professionals, so we don't have family money problems. My older brother and I receive $20 a week allowance — that's enough to buy things I want. Lately, I have been stealing things I want from stores.
Now I want to stop completely — forever. My parents would be mortified if they would get a call from the police that their "baby girl" (I'm 16) was arrested for shoplifting. Anything you can do to help me will be deeply appreciated. I don't want to be writing to you next time from a juvenile facility, but the urge to shoplift is overpowering. — Nameless, Des Moines, Iowa NAMELESS: You need professional counseling. My feeling is that it would be best for you to talk with your mother and tell her about your urge to steal. However, if you are not able to do this, you desperately need to speak with a trusted adult, such as a teacher or your school counselor, and this professional will see that you get the help you need. If you don't have a counselor or don't feel comfortable discussing your problem with a teacher, talk with your school nurse. She is a valuable person who can offer assistance to the student with a cut on her finger and also to the student who has a stealing problem. I'm positive that with professional assistance you will overcome this. Admitting you have a problem and asking for help are major steps in rehabilitation. I realize that you would like to get help in solving your serious problem without your parents knowing about it, but they love you and would offer the professional help you might need. It's much better they hear about your problem from you than, as you say, "getting a call from the police" telling mom and dad that you have been arrested for shoplifting. Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM
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