'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and have been dating "Mike" for over a year. He is a great guy. He's a very good athlete and has a football scholarship to the University of Indiana.

But he has one major flaw. He shoplifts. He says he does it because it gives him a big rush. Many times he lifts things he doesn't even want and just throws them away. I keep telling him that if he ever got caught shoplifting, he'd be in big trouble and might lose his football scholarship. He just always says that he'll take that chance. He should know better. His 18th birthday was last week.

How serious is the crime of shoplifting, and is there anything I can do to help break him of this unacceptable habit? — Nameless, Indianapolis.

NAMELESS: Your boyfriend may not know it, but he's risking a lot more than arrest. He's jeopardizing his future. It would be terrible to lose an athletic scholarship because of petty thievery. It would be even worse to lose a great employment opportunity 10 years down the road.

Please have him read the following letter. I hope it makes him come to his senses and quit shoplifting before he's arrested. If it doesn't, he will probably need professional counseling.

DR. WALLACE: I'm writing after reading about the young girl who asked for help to overcome her shoplifting problem. She couldn't come up with a good reason to stop on her own. Although she was aware that her parents would be upset, she didn't seem to realize how this might affect her later in life.

Her letter brought tears to my eyes. It was something close to my heart. My husband was arrested for shoplifting 10 years ago, just after he turned 18. He stole a $7 item on a dare from a friend, even though he had $80 in his pocket. He knew this would come back to haunt him, but he didn't know how or when.

My husband is now a teacher and California law requires that all teachers be fingerprinted. Because he had been arrested and fingerprinted 10 years ago, it was still on his record. The judge in his case had told him that if he didn't get into any more trouble, in three years his record would be clean.

When my husband filled out his teaching application, he put down that his record was clean because he honestly thought it was — but it wasn't.

We both worked very hard the past eight years to get him through college. It was a struggle. I worked two jobs at first, then worked days and went to college in the evening. We had big goals and worked hard to reach them. Our dream came true when he was offered a teaching position in his hometown. All our hard work was finally paying off.

Then came the shocking news. The superintendent was notified that my husband had been arrested and hadn't put it on his application. The superintendent then had to decide if my husband should be retained as a teacher or fired for lying on his application.

We were in limbo for two days before hearing the good news. Because my husband was a good teacher and well-liked by the staff and community, the superintendent decided to keep him on. But because of that one small mistake 10 years ago, our lives were nearly devastated.

The moral of our story is that we would never have had to deal with any of this if he hadn't shoplifted in the first place. He is now a wonderful person and a great role model for his students. He just happened to do something stupid as a kid, which came back to haunt him. Many times teens do things and forget about the consequences. I hope this letter will make them think before they act. — Nameless, Oakland, Calif.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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