'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: Our 16-year-old daughter had beautiful light brown hair that flowed to her waist in the back. She enjoyed having long hair, but lately she started complaining that it was too difficult to control. She asked if she could get some of it cut. I agreed that she could get it cut on her 16th birthday.

Well, her birthday fell on a Saturday, so after making an appointment with my hairstylist, she went to get a haircut. I didn't go because I couldn't bear to see her beautiful locks butchered. When Rebeccah came home after getting "sheared," I didn't know her. All I could say was, "Are you my daughter?" I then broke down crying. Her hair was so short that it looked like the style worn by girls who play sports. Since she is not an athlete, I don't know why she got it cut so short.

Needless to say, we haven't been saying much to each other lately. Do you think my daughter is trying to send me some sort of social signal by having short hair? To make matters more unsettling, her boyfriend likes her hair short better than long. — Mom, Rockford, Ill.

MOM: You're making way too much out of your daughter's hairstyle, almost to the point where I'm tempted to ask, what exactly is it that you love, Rebeccah or her long hair? Short locks aren't worth a single tear; they certainly aren't worth a damaged relationship.

Your daughter, at age 16, has the right to wear her hair as she sees fit. If a short-haired Rebeccah makes you ask, "Are you my daughter?" then you need to start getting to know her.

She's growing up. Girls often cut their long hair to symbolize a break from childhood, according to Dr. Judith Waters, a social psychologist at Fairleigh Dickinson University.

Now is the time to show your daughter how much you love her. Give her hugs and kisses, not frowns and the silent treatment. Forget about making her short hair an issue. It's the least of your worries. Hair grows longer every day. A relationship that's been cut off doesn't renew itself so easily.

GUYS WANT ATHLETIC LOOK

DR. WALLACE: In one of your columns, you stated that 90 percent of all teens that suffer from the eating disorder anorexia nervosa (self-starvation) are females. Why is this? Don't males have a desire to be thin? — Nameless, Rock Island, Ill.

NAMELESS: The main reason most eating-disorder sufferers are young women is because our society sends out an endless stream of messages that only thin girls are attractive and only attractive girls are happy. It's pushed on them in the movies, on television and in advertisements. For instance, all the females pushing products aimed at women are rail-thin models.

A certain percentage of females succumb to this pressure so completely that they lose all perspective and jeopardize not just their health but also their lives. Most young males, on the other hand, do not "think thin." Their goal is to look athletic and be a hunk.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM