'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old guy and I'm gay. Being gay, I am aware that gay guys have the highest suicide percentage of all teens. The reason why is that we are ostracized by mainstream heterosexual America. We are ridiculed, hated, despised and persecuted. No wonder we can't find comfort and peace in this godless world. Suicide has crossed my mind several times, but my faith in God made me realize that God gives life and only God can take away a life.

Teens, if you know someone who is gay, reach out and be kind to this person. Show compassion, understanding and acceptance as an equal. We didn't choose to be gay. That's just the way we entered the world.

My family was horrified when I told them I was gay. They had no idea I was because I didn't want them to know. It's been six months since I gave them the startling news. They have accepted my gayness, but I can tell they are very disappointed. I'm not a gay rights activist and I don't flaunt my sexuality by dressing like a transvestite and dancing in parades.

I consider myself a normal teen that enjoys sports, music, animals and watching a good television program. I have two arms and two legs, a neck and a head, hands and feet, and I look like the boy who lives next door. By looking at me, you would not dream that I'm gay, and that's the way I like it.

All I'm asking is that you treat me the same way you did before you heard me say, "By the way, it's time to tell you that I'm gay." — Nameless, San Raphael, Calif.

NAMELESS: Thanks for your heartfelt plea for acceptance.

The teen years are tough for everybody, and many young people, as they struggle to gain independence and establish an identity, wind up thinking they're different from the rest of the world. This sense of isolation is intensified when some condition or facet of their lives, such as being gay, actually does set them apart.

I applaud your courage and strength. Even though your family was "horrified" to learn you were gay, telling them was the right thing to do. Gay teens who hide their sexual identity from their parents suffer confusion, guilt and, worst of all, deep, impenetrable isolation. Some — far too many — wind up being unable to cope with the conflict between inner identity and external expectations and resort to suicide.

As a former teacher, coach and administrator, I very much enjoyed the opportunity to work with teens of different races, religions and ethnic backgrounds. It didn't matter. To me, they were all in one category — teens.

It doesn't matter to me that you are gay. What does matter is that you took time to express your views. I respect that and hope others will as well. Contact me at any time. I'll always be here to do my very best to offer a helping hand.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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