DR. WALLACE: I've been reading your column for quite some time, and I agree with you 95 percent of the time, but when I disagree, we are miles apart. You advocate violence when a student is confronted by a bully. I believe in nonviolence 100 percent. Never do l think that physical violence is the best way to solve a problem.

When we all learn how to turn the other cheek, we will have a much better world. —Rose, Salt Lake City, Utah

ROSE: I, too, am a proponent of nonviolence and believe every peaceful method should be exhausted in dealing with bullies. But what's crucial is that the victim stands his or her ground.

Bullies are the scourges of schoolyards. They love to threaten, extort, assault and punish as long as the victim remains passive. In many cases, the victim is afraid to ask for help from teachers, administrators and even parents for fear that the bully will retaliate. As long as a bully can get away with it, the reign of terror will continue.

Good administrators will tell the teaching staff to be on the alert for incidents of bullying and will take swift action to see that it is eliminated immediately. But even when the staff is on guard to spot bullies, some incidents escape their attention. Students who are being harassed should tell school personnel and their parents. This is usually enough to end the harassment.

Unfortunately, not all administrators consider bullying a serious problem; some refuse to believe bullies attend their school even when they are contacted by parents and students. And some parents, for whatever reason, fail to take their child's trouble seriously, leaving the victim utterly alone. That's when the victim must take matters into his or her own hands and, if words don't work, fight back.

Bullies enjoy seeing the fear they instill in their victims, but they usually don't enjoy fighting. Once the bully finds out his victim will defend himself, the bullying stops. Even if the bully wins the fight and the victim winds up with a fat lip, the wound will heal much faster than the emotional pain of doing nothing, which can last for years.

But, again, I stress that fisticuffs are the last resort and should be used only when all peaceful efforts have failed. I say this as a former high school principal.

YOU ARE CONFUSED, BUT NOT IN LOVE

DR. WALLACE: I'm really confused. I love my girlfriend very much, but recently I met another girl and she asked me to call her and I really want to. What should I do? —Ricky, San Jose, Calif.

RICKY: It's obvious that you are confused and really not in love with your girlfriend. In fact, you probably shouldn't be going steady. Why not talk to your girlfriend to see if an agreement can be made so that you both can continue dating each other, but at times also date other people?

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators syndicate website at www.creators.com.