Father Needs to Reconsider! by Dr. Robert Wallace on Creators.com

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Father Needs to Reconsider!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and just finished receiving a good spanking from my father. I think the spanking was stupid, and I'd like to hear what you think about it.

About three weeks ago, I came home an hour late and was put on restriction for a month, and I have no quarrel with that.

Last night, one of the girls at my church invited me to a surprise birthday party for a mutual friend. I asked my father if he could lift my restriction for one night and he said yes. I kissed him on the cheek and went to my bedroom to get ready for the party.

About 10 minutes later, my dad came in and told me that because he was permitting me to go to the party I had to be punished in another way — a good spanking. When I told him no way, he refused to allow me out of the house, so I relented and took a spanking. He bent me over his knee and paddled my rump 10 times with a wooden paddle.

I went to the party, but I was furious at what happened. I think my spanking was absurd and was a stupid gesture on his part. — Nameless, Moncton, New Brunswick.

NAMELESS: I agree! The spanking was cruel, unnecessary and served no useful purpose.

Make sure father reads my response. I hope it causes him to reconsider his barbaric disciplinary philosophy.

HIGH CARBS ARE IN

DR. WALLACE: I am a tennis player. Our coach told us to eat a lot of potatoes and spaghetti to help us become better players. My last coach had us eat a lot of meat, fruits and vegetables and drink milk. How can two coaches differ so much on a diet for an athlete? — Jordan, Petaluma, Calif.

JORDAN: According to Robert Haas, a clinical nutritionist, high-protein diets (milk, cheese, meat) were once considered an athlete's diet, but recent research does not agree with this theory.

Now high-carbohydrate diets (pasta, potatoes, raw vegetables) are in. A high-carbohydrate diet promotes the storage of glycogen, which the body needs for endurance, in the muscles and the liver.

Haas notes that Swedish researchers found that if you feed people a high-protein diet and then put them on an exercise cycle, they can ride about a half-hour before becoming exhausted. But if you feed them a high-carbohydrate diet, they can ride three or four times longer than they did on a high-protein diet. It looks like your present coach has the better athletic diet.

INCREASED DEMAND FOR TEACHERS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high-school senior and will be attending college next fall. I want to become a teacher. I've always wanted to teach ever since I can remember. My parents are not thrilled about my choice. They keep telling me that teaching jobs are hard to find and that the pay is shamefully low.

Exactly what is the outlook for future teachers, and what can I expect to be paid when I find a position? — Tiffany, Klamath Falls, Ore.

TIFFANY: According to the National Education Association, the demand for teachers is expected to increase steadily in the near future. Salaries vary from state to state, but roughly expect $25,000 to $35,000 per year to start and up to $75,000 after 10 to 12 years of experience.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Hamsters Make Great Pets

DR. WALLACE: We have a pet hamster in our science room at school. It is an interesting pet. All of the students really like him. Since I don't have a pet, I'd like to get a hamster and keep it in my bedroom. My mom said that if I pay for it and a cage, she would pay for the food. I have enough money saved to pay for the hamster and my grandmother will buy the cage for me. My dad says that hamsters are messy and dirty animals that will stink up our house. Our classroom doesn't smell bad.

Do you favor me getting a pet hamster? — Jody, Ames, Iowa.

JODY: Yes! Hamsters make wonderful pets without demanding a lot of time and care. Stop by the library and check out a few books on the care of a pet hamster. That way you can educate dad on the joys of having a hamster for a pet.

Is it possible that dad could visit your class and see for himself the benefits of having a hamster for a pet? I'm positive he will change his mind and will become a hamster "fan."

OVERLY STRICT PARENTS NEED TO RELAX

DR. WALLACE: I read your column often and am always amazed at the high number of teens who complain about their curfew. It makes me envious. I wish I had a curfew. I'm not asking for advice; I'm writing just to show teens how restrictive and smothering some parents can be.

I'm a college student living at home. I would be so thankful if I could see a movie, go out for a bite to eat or, for that matter, just go out — anywhere. I must return home after my last college class and I'm not permitted to take evening classes. My parents don't think I'm capable of taking care of myself after dark. They even insist that my 15-year-old brother accompany me when I go to the store.

I was fortunate enough to graduate in the top 5 percent of my class and had been offered many wonderful college and university scholarships, but my parents wouldn't allow me to accept any of them, even though several were in-state. They insisted that I attend a community college in Orlando. When I ask them when I'll have the freedom to make my own decisions, they say that I will have to wait until I'm 21. Oh, well! — Tyler, Orlando, Fla.

TYLER: Some parents are much too lenient when it comes to controlling their teens, while other parents are "smotheringly" strict. I haven't yet decided which type of "extreme" parents do the most psychological damage to their offspring, but an "educated" guess would say that the overly strict parents cause more psychological damage to their children.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, AND THEREAFTER

Cocaine Can Cause Death

DR. WALLACE: Does cocaine have any useful medical application? I heard that if taken in small doses, it can actually be a cure-all for small ills. — Jerry, Hobart, Ind.

JERRY: Medically, cocaine is used by medical doctors as a blood vessel constrictor, a local anesthetic and as a central nervous system stimulant. It's a useful drug when taken under a physician's recommendation, but it is not a cure-all for small ills. In fact, when taken illegally and overdosing, cocaine can cause death due to respiratory collapse or sudden seizure.

CALL ME HILLARY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and hate my first name. I was named for my mother's mother, and the name (Hilda) has caused me much embarrassment and ridicule ever since I was very young. I plan to change it legally to Hillary when I turn 18.

My parents are upset and don't want me to make the change. They said that it would be a "slap in the face" to my grandmother, who is 70 years old. My parents think that if I eventually do change my name I should wait until my grandmother passes away. My grandmother is in excellent health and could live to be 100. Besides, I don't want a death to occur before I can do something positive.

The funny thing is that my mom got a "nose job" when she was 18 (against her mom's wishes), so that she could be more "beautiful." She admits that she never would have caught my dad's interest with her old nose.

I'm almost sure I'll make the name change when I'm 18, but I'd still like to hear your view. All of my close friends already call me Hillary. — Hilda, Chicago.

HILDA (Hillary): Is it possible that you could change your name to Hillary and have Hilda as a middle name? It might satisfy all family members.

But if that's not acceptable, change your name to Hillary when you turn 18. I firmly believe that a person who wants to change a name should be able to change the name. It's foolish to continue with a name that results in ridicule and embarrassment.

I'M PREGNANT! WHAT SHOULD I DO?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 17. We have a big problem — I'm pregnant. We both don't know what to do. Abortion is out of the question. We're both good students and are considered "model" students. Both of my parents are teachers, and my boyfriend's mom is a nurse and his dad is a lawyer. We can't tell our parents because they'll be very, very upset and disappointed. What should we do? — Nameless, Naples, Fla.

NAMELESS: Yes, the parents will be "upset" when they first hear that you are pregnant, but like most parents, they will help you and your boyfriend make the best possible choices for all concerned.

Inform your parents immediately.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

I'm Called a Wimp

DR. WALLACE: Whenever we forget our physical education uniforms, our teacher gives us a choice — a swat on the rump with a wooden paddle or an F for the day. Last week I forgot my uniform, and I chose to take an F. Now all the guys are calling me a sissy and a wimp. I'm not afraid of getting a swat; I just don't like the idea of having a person hit me. My parents don't hit me when they punish me.

I checked with our school board and they said that our district allows teachers to use "reasonable" spanking to enforce discipline. I'd like your thoughts on this. — Nameless, Anderson, S.C.

NAMELESS: Very few school districts permit corporal punishment to discipline students. Personally, I feel students should not be subjected to corporal punishment administered by school personnel. Schools are already performing many functions that should be handled in the home.

IT ISN'T FAIR!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 and have a 13-year-old sister who spends more time worrying about what I do than living her own life. Let me give you an example. I asked my mom if I could get my ears pierced. My sister overheard my request. She said that it wouldn't be fair to her because I'm 12 years and 3 months old and she had to wait until she was 12 years, 5 months old before getting her ears pierced.

I can't ask for anything that she got at an older age. All I hear is, "It isn't fair." I'm so tired of those words that I could scream if I hear them again. Mom is a very nice lady and tries to please both my sister and me; many times she takes my sister's side. All I can say is, "It isn't fair!" — Jennifer, Hackensack, N.J.

JENNIFER: Let's hope that after mom has had a chance to read this column, she will find a way to keep your sister and you happy most of the time. If she wasn't a wise, caring mom she would just toss her hands in the air and declare, "Why do I always have to make sure that each girl has to be treated exactly the same as the other? It just isn't fair!"

NO CURE FOR ALCOHOLISM

DR. WALLACE: The guy I'm engaged to was an alcoholic, but he went to an alcohol rehabilitation clinic and has overcome his drinking habit. I love this guy very much. He is kind, sensitive, compassionate and has a marvelous sense of humor. He treats me with respect and has never done anything to change my mind about him becoming my husband. He loves children and, like me, loves animals.

My uncle has warned me that there is no cure for alcoholism. He says, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Please tell me that this isn't true. — Nameless, Holland, Mich.

NAMELESS: Alcoholism cannot be cured, but alcoholics can recover and return to a normal way of life. Recovery depends on total abstinence from alcohol.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

His Girlfriend is an Expensive Item

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and work 20 hours a week after school and all day Saturday at a gas station. I make pretty good money. Since I'm going steady and I have a car, I need all the money I earn just to survive. Both my insurance and my girlfriend are expensive items. My dad says that I should be saving some of my earnings and is now demanding that I put $15 per week into a savings account. My dad's name is also on the account, and no money can be removed unless both of us sign for it at the same time.

I have protested, but my dad refuses to understand that things are expensive and that I need all the cash I can scrape up. I'd like to hear what you have to say about my "forced" savings plan. — Nameless, Lake Charles, La.

NAMELESS: I feel that learning to budget your income and saving for future needs are important benefits of working and earning your own money as a teen. Therefore, I agree with your father's decision of a "forced" savings plan. I agree that all cars are expensive items, but not necessarily so for girlfriends. Discuss things with your girlfriend and plan some activities that are fun but don't require a bundle of cash. This is especially important in these "trying" economic times.

MINIMUM DRINKING AGE IS NOT 18!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and like to party. I don't do drugs, but I do enjoy a few (sometimes more) alcoholic beverages. Once in a while, I have a bit too much to drink and I get a little tipsy. I don't like this feeling, especially when I'm going to drive. I've been told that if you eat while you drink it is harder to become drunk. Is this true? — Nameless, Frederick, Md.

NAMELESS: Food eaten either shortly before or while drinking alcohol will slow down the rate at which the alcohol enters the bloodstream. Ultimately, however, all the alcohol consumed will be absorbed into the blood. This could occur as you are getting into your car.

Never drive after you have been drinking. It's not fair to you, your passengers and every living thing that might be unlucky enough to cross your path.

Wise up! You can party and still have a great time without consuming alcohol. But just in case you are not aware of the minimum age to consume alcohol, allow me to inform you that it's 21 in all states and the District of Columbia.

WHAT IS HASH?

DR. WALLACE: I'm dating a guy who doesn't do drugs, but once in a while he smokes a little "hash." I know that "hash" is a strong form of tobacco and is bad for your health, but at least it's not a drug. What exactly is hash? —Nameless, Whiting, Ind.

NAMELESS: Somewhere along the line, you've been fed some misinformation. "Hash" (hashish) is the juice from the flower and seeds of the marijuana plant, and chemically is 10 times stronger than the marijuana leaf. Hashish is a potent illegal drug! Discuss this with your boyfriend and inform him that you will not be with him if he continues to break the law by using this illegal drug.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

The Guy is a Nightmare

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and going with a 19-year-old guy. I really care for him, but I wish that I didn't. He is not a nice person and he doesn't treat me well. He has never hit me, but he regularly slaps me, sometimes on my arms and on my face.

I think the reason I like him so much is that he is really handsome and all my girlfriends think that he is a "dream." Do you think that I might be able to change him into a "nice" guy? If I did, I'd have a great boyfriend. — Emmie, Jackson, Miss.

EMMIE: This guy is not a "dream"; he's a "nightmare!" You would be very foolish to continue dating this jerk just because he is really "handsome." Never be subjected to physical abuse from anyone at any time.

SPUDS ARE SUPER FOODS

DR. WALLACE: Please, oh please, answer my letter. I love potatoes, totally, honestly love them. But I'm on a diet, and my mother will not allow me to eat them. I told her potatoes are not fattening (my teacher told me so), but no dice — no potatoes. Please print this so I can show my mom. She always reads your column. — Julia, Superior, Wis.

JULIA: Potatoes are a super food, chock-full of vitamins and nutrients and only 80 calories for one medium-size potato.

The diet wreckers are gravy, butter, sour cream, and those potatoes that are fried, creamed or sauced.

TELEVISION VIEWING IS BENEFICIAL — SOMETIMES

DR. WALLACE: I'm responding to your recent column that stated that average North Americans spend 12 years of their lives watching television. Wow, that's a lot of time wasted! My parents are very strict. I'm 13 and not permitted to watch television on school nights. I watch only two hours on weekends. I was very upset because all of my friends would tell me about all the wonderful TV shows they watched. I always felt left out and deprived. Not anymore.

Instead of becoming a "couch potato," I do my homework (I'm a very good student), practice on my piano, read good books, work on my hobbies (stamp collecting and quilting) and read the newspaper (especially your column). I now have come to realize that I can live without becoming a slave to the television screen.

Of course, when something very important is being televised (the presidential debates), our family tunes in and then discusses the program when it concludes. Now I'm really happy that I can honestly say, I control television and television doesn't control me.

Do you watch a lot of television? — Karla, Ontario, Calif.

KARLA: You are a wise young lady and your parents should be commended. Television is a marvelous means of transmitting useful and entertaining information to the general public, but when television viewing prevents the family from interacting together, it's time to re-evaluate family priorities. Too often, the television set is turned on to catch the "soaps" and isn't turned off until bedtime.

Being a former high school basketball coach, I enjoy watching college basketball on television, especially the NCAA Championship Tournament. I also like watching the Chicago Cubs try to win a baseball game.

But I'm fortunate. I can turn on the games, turn off the sound and still read a newspaper, listen to Luciano Pavarotti, the Irish tenor, or even read letters such as yours from my teen readers. I'm also busy talking with teens, writing my column and going to quilt shows with my wife (from Goshen, Ind., to Paducah, Ky.). This prevents me from getting addicted to television.

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Father Needs to Reconsider!