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Don't Waste Time Discussing Sex

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DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and dating a 19-year-old guy that I met at my aunt's wedding. He is cute, witty and intelligent, but all he ever thinks and talks about is sex. I don't mind an intelligent discussion on the subject every once in a while, but not every moment I'm with him.

Lately, he has had the gall to ask me if I was a virgin. When I told him that it was none of his business, he became defiant and said that I wasn't a virgin or I would have told him. I know that his ultimate goal is to have sex with me, but deep down he knows that it will never happen. Yet he keeps bringing up the subject.

If there was some way I could get this guy to broaden his one-track mind, he would be a sensational guy. What do you suggest I do? — Brianna, Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

BRIANNA: It's normal for teens to talk about sex from time to time, but when that's the only topic on someone's mind, something is amiss. As with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, gambling and overeating, sex can be addictive. Make this guy aware that you will no longer waste your time discussing sex with him. If he doesn't change his ways, drop him immediately and permanently.

WE HOST A JAPANESE FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT

DR. WALLACE: Our family is hosting a 16-year-old Japanese exchange student named Oki. Last night, our family and Oki were discussing the percentage of students from both countries who graduate from high school. Oki said that 98 percent of Japan's population has at least a high school diploma. None of our family knows the percentage of Americans who have graduated from high school. Can you help us out? - Erin, San Luis Obispo, Calif.

ERIN: The Japanese educational system is structured to educate a student population that is over 99 percent native-born Japanese, who are reared in traditional Japanese families that place a high premium on education.

We, too, place a high premium on education, but our students have a far more diversified cultural heritage than the students of Japan. We spend a great deal of time and money educating everyone.

According to the U.S. Bureau of the Census, 81 percent of the people in this country who are 25 and older have high school diplomas. That's an excellent record that will only improve with time.

Congratulations for welcoming a foreign exchange student into your family! It's a wonderful experience for the student and the host family.

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT WILL BE APPRECIATED

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and still a virgin. I have three good friends the same age and they all have been sexually active. I'm proud that I haven't had sex, yet sometimes I feel like I'm abnormal — that everyone is doing it while I'm not. I know this seems silly, but that's the way I feel. I do not plan to have sex until I'm married to my one-and-only. Any words of encouragement will be appreciated. — Nameless, Cumberland, Md.

NAMELESS: Don't believe all you hear. Sometimes people like to fib a little just to get attention.

The Kaiser Family Foundation conducted a national poll on teenage sex and found that while 75 percent of female teens thought that most teens have had sex, only 39 percent said they had done so. Another study by the University of Michigan found that over 50 percent of all teens are virgins when they celebrate their 17th birthday.

I receive hundreds of letters annually from teenage girls who say they are sorry they lost their virginity. Stay true to your high moral standard! It's something to be proud of.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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Sigh, I get so tired of virgins automatically being thought of as moral. Most have been guilt ed in suppressing natural urges and others are just afraid. And why would a virgin have close friends that were not virgins as well? I guess that is possible because when I was a virgin all the girls I knew were as well but were horrible people! They cursed, stole, smoked and some even fought other girls. But they were raised to believe that being a virgin was the only thing that really mattered; not being nice, hardworking or a good with money. Lol, that what made me say this is bull and lose mine at 17. But, in this world I guess it does matter more than anything because I was called all types of names for it. Oh well.
Comment: #1
Posted by: takusan
Thu Jan 28, 2010 2:57 PM
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