'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: I've been dating a girl for over a year, and lately she has become extremely possessive of my time. I always spend every weekend with her, but during weekday evenings I like to spend time with my buddies. This has really set her off, even though I've been seeing these guys regularly long before I met her. I've tried reasoning with her, but it doesn't do any good. What should I do? — Rick, Lake Charles, La.

RICK: Nothing suffocates a relationship more quickly than one partner's extreme possessiveness. It's important for you to see your friends and you should continue to do so. It appears that your girlfriend is not willing to share you with others at this time.

Forget about discussing the matter further. The time has come to tell her that you care for her, but you are not going to spend all your free time with her, and if she can't accept that, break up. You might encourage her to spend time with her girlfriends or family during the week, but she probably won't take the suggestion.

PETS ARE GOOD FRIENDS

DR. WALLACE: I'd like to have a pet. I'd prefer a puppy, but even a pet rat would be fine. My mom won't let me have one because she says they are dirty, messy, expensive to care for, noisy, full of fleas and a lot of other bad things. What can I do to change her mind? I live alone with my mother, and a pet would be a great friend for me, especially when Mom isn't home. — Nameless, Galesburg, Ill.

NAMELESS: Having a pet requires responsibility. Besides needing food and daily care, the pet should be trained and, in the case of dogs and cats, neutered or spayed. But I believe a pet is well worth the cost and effort. Pets are faithful friends who bring immense joy and longer lives to their owners.

Almost half of all families have at least one family member that barks, meows, chirps, squeaks, slithers or croaks. Invite Mom to take a visit to the local animal shelter. It just might help her change her mind about having a pet.

HE IS NO DON JUAN

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend has borrowed over $100 from me in the past month. I work at a local fast-food restaurant and don't make much money. He always promises to pay me back twice the amount he's borrowed, so if he really means that, he owes me over $200. He told me he needed the money to buy food for his grandmother. He said he always bought her food when he was working, but he got fired a month ago.

Yesterday, I found out from his sister that all his grandparents are dead. When I confronted Don, all he said was that this lady wasn't really his grandmother, but she treated him like a grandson. He then asked me for a $10 loan, and I gave it to him. Now I'm starting to believe that I'm never going to get my money back. I also do all the buying when we go out. We have been together for about two months. — Arenna, El Paso, Texas.

ARENNA: Your "boyfriend" is a con artist in training, and maybe he already is one. Dump him immediately. I doubt you'll ever see the $110 you "gave" him. Chalk it up to a rather expensive learning experience. Is it possible that this Don considers himself to be a "Don Juan"? Check it out!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Mother Should Be Proud

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and living at home. I work part time and I'm taking two classes at Fullerton Community College this summer.

Kim is a very good friend. We have shared many good times together. She became pregnant and her good-for-nothing boyfriend went back to Mexico as soon as he found out. Kim and I talked many hours about whether she should have the baby or an abortion. We both decided that abortion was not an option.

Last week, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She has named her Precious; she will keep her because her mother has said she will care for the baby when Kim enrolls at Fullerton College next semester.

My mom and grandmother are very upset that I'm still friends with Kim. They now look down on her and consider her to be an undesirable person because she had a baby, but no husband.

I still consider Kim a good friend and I'm not about to drop our friendship. She needs my friendship now more than ever. Please give me your thoughts. — Marsha, Fullerton, Calif.

MARSHA: I'm with you 100 percent. Kim's boyfriend cut and ran when she became pregnant, but true friends stay loyal when times are tough. As you say, she needs you more than ever. You are a young woman with character, and your mother and grandmother should be proud of you.

DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF

DR. WALLACE: Jeff and I broke up about four months ago over silly, stupid disagreements. Now that I've had time to reflect on things, I realize that I was more to blame than he was, but at the time I couldn't see it because I'm very headstrong. Now I realize how much I've lost, and I love him more than ever. Now in my spare time I sit at home and think about him.

He's got another girlfriend, and I'm told by friends they appear to be a happy couple. This really pains me because he always told me he could never love any girl like he loved me. He must have a very short memory. To make things worse, I live in a fairly small city — I'm afraid I would just die if I saw my Jeff holding hands with another girl. It just doesn't seem fair that I could love a guy almost more than anything in the entire solar system and he couldn't care less if I lived or died. Help!

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, today is my birthday. I am now "sweet 16." I really don't think I'll ever fall in love again. Once you've had the best, you can never settle for anything less. Can you? — Pam, Rock Island, Ill.

PAM: You'll never know if Jeff was really the best if you spend all of your spare time pining over him and feeling sorry for yourself. You need to start comparing him with Brian, Mike, Sam and all the other eligible guys in Rock Island who would love to go out with you. I guarantee that sooner or later one of them will take your mind off Jeff. So, start getting active again. That's an order!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Best Friend Stands Her Up

DR. WALLACE: Tina is my best friend and has been since kindergarten. I really enjoy doing things with her and I know she feels the same way about me. Everything was wonderful until a month ago, when she met a guy at her softball game. I usually attend the games, but I was out of town that day. Had I been there, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have been "swept off her feet" by this guy.

Tina and I still do a lot together and are still best friends, but lately she has really been bugging me. We'll make plans to do something on the weekend but then, at the last possible moment, Nick calls her and she cancels our get-together. I realize this is her first boyfriend and she enjoys being with him, but what about me? After she cancels our plans, she goes out with Nick and I'm left out.

I turned down going to a party last Saturday to go to an afternoon matinee movie with Tina, but then she dumped me for Nick, and I wound up washing my dog. I love my dog, but I shouldn't have to give her a bath during "prime time" on Saturday afternoon. If I had a new boyfriend, I know I would never break a date with Tina just because he called at the last minute. What should I do about this? It's really a problem for me. — Kelly, Cumberland, Md.

KELLY: Maybe the problem can be solved by having a heart-to-heart talk with Tina. Tell her how you feel and that she needs to start respecting the plans the two of you make. Ask her to promise to tell Nick when he calls at the last minute that you guys already have plans and she can't go out with him now. If she won't do that, stop making plans with her, at least for the time being (sooner or later her relationship with Nick will cool off). And then resolve to do things with her only on the spur of the moment, that is if you don't have any other plans scheduled!

BARE MIDRIFF CONSIDERED ACCEPTABLE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and recently graduated from high school. I live at home with a divorced mother and my older unwed sister and her two children. Her boyfriend split to Mexico six months ago and hasn't been heard from since.

Lately, my mom has started getting on my case because she doesn't like the way I dress. I've been dressing this way for over a year and she said never said anything. All of a sudden it's a big deal to her. It all started because my grandmother came for my graduation and stayed with us for a week. When she left, she said I dressed like a tramp! Let me tell you how I dress. I wear hip-hugger jeans and cropped shirts, which allow me to show my bellybutton.

I told my mom I was old enough to wear whatever I wanted and there was nothing she could do about it.

Actually, I don't dress in poor taste. I have a great figure and bare midriffs are in vogue. My sister is on my side and has told our mother that she and our grandmother are old-fashioned. This made my mother cry.

Now I feel like a criminal, and all I've done is dress the same way I've always dressed. It's no fun to be compared to a tramp. I'm thinking about moving out of the house and living with a friend just to be able to dress the way I want. Is that a good idea? — Maria, Laredo, Texas.

MARIA: It's too late for Mom to press this issue. You're old enough to dress the way you want. But I'd advise you to stay at home and work things out with your mom. This problem does not seem insurmountable, and her tears indicate how much she cares about you. Bare midriffs are in vogue for young ladies in some areas, and a modest amount of uncovered skin is considered acceptable. The key word here is "acceptable." I hope you are in the "acceptable" category.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

Have More Than One Good Friend

DR. WALLACE: Kim and I are best friends during the school year. We take the same classes together and belong to the same clubs. In fact, I'm president of the French Club and Kim is the secretary. We do a lot of things together on the weekends, like going to the movies and cruising the mall.

But it seems our friendship ends during summer vacation. We rarely see each other. When I call her, she's always too busy to do things with me. She always has a bunch of cousins visiting r during the summer and spends most of her time with them, but if she was really my best friend, she would include me in her social activities once in a while.

My parents both work, so I spend my days watching television and cleaning my room. That means that I have a very lonely summer. I've got the cleanest, neatest room in California! Sometimes I feel like telling Kim to get lost because she really isn't my true best friend. What should I do? — Katlyn, Oakland, Calif.

KATLYN: It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start becoming active. Watching television and cleaning your room every day can become very depressing. Volunteer your time. Local hospitals and nursing homes can use your talents. Call other acquaintances and see if you can arrange a social event. Develop a hobby. (Collecting things, for instance, can be a lot of fun and sometimes profitable as well.) Many cities and towns have a summer recreation program and perhaps you can become involved in activities there.

The problem with having only one close friend is that you become isolated when that friend can't be with you. When school begins in September, work hard to make additional friends. Don't spend all your spare time with Kim. Join activities and classes that don't include her. Take some electives without Kim. She is still a good friend, but it's time to invite more friends into your life. What would you have done if Kim had moved away? Pretend that she has!

DUI INSTRUCTOR USES TEEN COLUMN

DR. WALLACE: In a recent column, you said, "Little did I realize that my teen column would evolve into a cooking column." Well, it has evolved into more than that. Let me explain.

I am a DUI (Driving Under the Influence) instructor for multiple offenders. A good part of the 21-hour substance abuse course, which they are court-ordered to attend, is devoted to current events involving alcohol. The "students" are required to bring in an article having to do with alcohol and other drugs each time we meet. They each read their article and discussion follows. It takes up the first hour of each of the seven classes that make up the course.

When I am giving them their instructions about securing these articles, I always mention your column as a good source. Dr. Wallace has been present in many of our classes over the years. I wish you could hear some of the heated, productive discussions that ensue. You'd be proud.

Thank you for your knowledge and expertise, but most of all for your straightforward answers devoid of preaching. Please, please, keep up the good work advising teens about the pitfalls of alcohol use. — Roberta Lyon, DUI Instructor, Orlando, Fla.

ROBERTA: Thanks for the vote of confidence. You can continue to count on me to spread the word that alcohol is bad news and that alcohol combined with driving must never be tolerated!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

He Hit The Wrong Guy

DR. WALLACE: Before school was out for the summer, a guy walked up to me during lunch break and punched me on the back of the head. He hit me so hard that it knocked me down. The reason for his attack: He thought I stole his girlfriend. It's true I'm going out with his ex-girlfriend, but I had nothing to do with their breakup. The girl dumped him because he's a jerk.

Our school has a rule that when two students get into a fight on campus, both are suspended. I realized this when I picked myself off the cement and proceeded to punch this guy's lights out. I really whipped his tail for two reasons. First, he sucker-punched me, and second, he embarrassed me in front of my friends. I had no choice but to do battle. It felt good to whip him, but it didn't feel good to get suspended by the vice principal for two days for fighting. Even though I didn't start this fight, I did finish it, so I'm not upset about being suspended. I deserved it.

My parents are really upset because they think my suspension will be on my record and it will hinder my chances to get into a good college or university. Is this true? — Justin, Philadelphia.

JUSTIN: As a former high-school principal, I can assure you that a fight on campus is a serious offense. As soon as a fight starts, the entire student body wants to witness it. In the great majority of cases, one of the fighters was the aggressor, but as they say, "It takes two to tango." If I had known all the facts when a principal, I would have suspended you, and then said, "Justin, you did the right thing by defending yourself."

Fights happen. Two or more fights on a student record might raise the eyebrows of college admission officials, but a one-timer will not be the deciding factor for admission. Grades are the most important and activity participation is a distant second. I hope my response will cause your parents to get more sleep!

TELL RALPH GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK

DR. WALLACE: I need your advice. I really like Steve and he really likes me. We have many things in common and would like to go out with each other. That seems simple enough, doesn't it?

Well, it isn't that simple because I'm going steady with Ralph. He and I agreed to remain a couple even though he moved to California. He was going to write to me and give me his address once his family found a house to live in, but so far he hasn't called or even sent me a postcard. My brother says I should wait six months from the time he moved to see if I hear from him before assuming that he's not going to contact me. My older sister thinks I've waited too long already. I'd like to hear your point of view. — Leanne, Hammond, La.

LEANNE: Go out with Steve. If Ralph happens to contact you later, you then can formally tell him goodbye and good luck.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2009, AND THEREAFTER

No Second Chance

DR. WALLACE: On my second date with "Jason," we went to a party. I had to call my parents to pick me up because he'd been drinking and I didn't want to ride with him. Yesterday he called and asked me out again. He apologized and said he stopped drinking, so that sort of incident would never happen again. I'd like to go out with him again, but my parents won't allow it. Don't you think Jason deserves another chance? After all, he is human and entitled to make a one-time mistake. — Nameless, Vicksburg, Miss.

NAMELESS: Because of the possible serious consequences of driving after drinking, "Jason" doesn't deserve another chance. I agree with your parents' decision.

DON'T SIT AT HOME AND POUT

DR. WALLACE: Keith and I had been a twosome for seven months. I thought it was great, but he said he felt restricted, and last month he told me he wanted the freedom to date other girls. I had no choice but to agree. Right now, he's dating me twice a month and another girl the same amount. I don't like this arrangement, but I do enjoy going out with him, and when we're together we have good times.

My best friend thinks I'm crazy and that I should force him to choose between me and the other girl. I'm afraid if I do, he'll choose the other girl. Do you find anything wrong with my sharing Keith with another girl? She obviously isn't too upset about him seeing me. — Nameless, Moncton, New Brunswick.

NAMELESS: As long as you enjoy going out with Keith, continue to do so. But don't sit at home and pout on those nights when he's out with the other girl. Do things with your friends or family, or go out with another guy.

HER BROTHER IS A JERK

DR. WALLACE: My best friend is dating my brother's best friend. This guy tells my brother everything they do on a date, and sometimes the action is, well, steamy. I know this because my brother can't wait to tell me all the details. I keep telling him to keep his big mouth shut, but he can't. I also tell him that his buddy is feeding him a line, but my brother says he knows for a fact that everything this guy says is true because his buddy has taped some of the conversation during the "hot" moments. My brother said he'd play the tape for me if I had any doubts.

Now I'm starting to have funny feelings when I'm with my best friend. What should I do? I care about my best friend very much. — Nameless, Santa Maria, Calif.

NAMELESS: Your brother is a loudmouth jerk. Don't listen to his blabber about your friend and, by all means, don't abandon your friend. It might be the right time to tell her that her "boyfriend" has a "loose tongue"!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM