'Tween 12 and 20 by Dr. Robert Wallace

DR. WALLACE: Eric and I are both 17 and had been dating for about nine months. When we first started dating, Eric was upset because I didn't spend enough time with him. He felt he wasn't playing a prominent role in my life. Since I cared for him, I made a lot of changes.
   
I quit my part-time job, told my good friends goodbye and stopped visiting my grandmother -- all this so Eric and I could spend more time together. And we did. We saw each other every day at school, went out every Friday and Saturday night and studied together three school nights a week. Things were great for eight months. We discussed our future together and even how many children we were going to have (two, hopefully a boy and a girl).
   
Then came the thunderbolt. Last week, Eric said he wanted to split up because we were spending too much time together. I was totally shocked, but tried to act cool and mature. I told him we should take a break for a couple of weeks and then make a decision about our relationship. Did I do the right thing? -- Nameless, Talladega, Ala.
   
NAMELESS: Congratulations on keeping your cool. Perhaps Eric isn't quite as self-centered and petulant as he sounds, and a relationship with him maybe worth saving. If he is worth it, then you did the right thing, and he'll respond reasonably and perhaps even apologize for bringing on the over-closeness himself.
    But there's a lesson worth extracting from all this about how far you should go to accommodate a boyfriend. Don't give up friends, family or a job in order to satisfy his selfish demands. Continue to be yourself and live a balanced life. If he doesn't care about you for who you are, he doesn't care about you at all.

MAKE INTELLIGENCE MOST IMPORTANT
DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and will be allowed to date for the first time this summer. I am a firm believer that dating prepares teens for mate selection. That's why it is extremely important that I only date guys who are intellectual. I am very intelligent, and since my husband will also have an abundance of intelligence, it will ensure that our children will be smart.
  
I also want my date to possess a great sense of humor, have compassion, be caring, enjoy music and make me feel very special. Which of these traits should I look for first when deciding whether or not to date a guy? -- Kate, Atlanta.
   
KATE: You have high standards. If you want your "future husband" to meet all of them, make intelligence the most important trait. You can encourage a guy to laugh at your jokes, to be compassionate and caring, to enjoy music and to make you feel special, but you can't encourage him to be intelligent.

I CAN’T HAVE AN ABORTION
DR. WALLACE: I'm 16, not married, but pregnant. Many of my friends and family members have encouraged me to have an abortion. I'm sorry that I'm pregnant, but I can't do that because it would haunt me the rest of my life. Do most unwed pregnant teens give birth or do they have an abortion? -- Nameless, Paterson, N.J.
   
NAMELESS: According to MD magazine, about 60 percent give birth to their babies. The others choose to terminate the pregnancy. The magazine also reports that one out of every four unwed pregnant teens will be pregnant again the following year.
   
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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