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Should I Spend Two Years Dateless?
DR. WALLACE: I'm 17, and the guy that I love is 19 and is in the military service. I love him with all of my heart and soul, and he says that he feels the same way about me. We constantly talk about getting married when he gets discharged in three …Read more.
The High Cost of Prom Dresses
TEENS: It's prom time, and millions of teens are preparing to attend the grandest of all school-sponsored events. As a senior at Emerson High School in Gary, Ind., the only money I needed to have a wonderful experience was about $75. I already owned …Read more.
You Could Be Behind Bars
DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and so is Lori, my so-called girlfriend. We had been going steady for a year, but we broke up two days before we graduated. Our first nine months were super, but we had lots of problems the last three. The last straw was when she …Read more.
Congratulations on Your Grade-Point Average
DR. WALLACE: I will be graduating from high school in less than a month. I'm a very good student and have been accepted at Yale University. I will be attending Yale in September.
But I feel very disappointed that I was not selected as the …Read more.
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Allow Me to Share From My ExperienceDR. WALLACE: A reader wrote to you saying she was aware of her own negative outlook in life but did not know how to stop it. Your advice, as always, was direct and helpful. I wonder if you might allow me to add a bit to it from my own counseling experiences with those who have a negative outlook. The things we say and think throughout the day sink into our subconscious and affect the way we feel and act, as well as the way others feel and act toward us. People with a negative outlook tend to feel depressed and dissatisfied with their lives. Experts used to believe that to address such issues, it was necessary to explore the causes and feelings in depth. Now we know people can change the way they feel by changing the way they act first. For example, children who were taught to deliberately smile at other people, even if they didn't feel like smiling, increased their positive outlook and self-esteem over another group of children who did not smile unless they felt like it. Sometimes when people have the habit of looking for the worst, it is hard to change behavior. Unfortunately, when you try to just "be positive" and then blow it, you may end up thinking even more negative thoughts about yourself ("I'm hopeless" or "I can never do anything right"). There are, in fact, several specific things you can do to change your behavior, and thus change your outlook: 1) Keep in mind the "2 equals 1" equation.
2) Label your behavior, and make a note to stop it. Every time you say a negative comment, tell yourself, "That's a bummer or put-down." 3) Play the "Buzzer Game" with a friend. Every time you are together, monitor each other. If someone says something negative, the other goes "Bzzz" — like a game show. Have fun with it. Keep score if you wish. Pretty soon you'll be buzzing yourself and stopping yourself before you start. 4) Utilize your subconscious. Repeatedly throughout the day, say a positive self-statement, such as, "Every day, it is easier and easier for me to notice the good and ignore the bad." Say it again 10 times before bedtime. People who consciously incorporate these behaviors into their daily life like themselves better and find it easier to make and keep friends. —Charlene Messenger, Ph.D., Orlando, Fla. CHARLENE: Thank you for your useful comments. Teens with negative outlooks will see a change to "sunny" dispositions when they follow your excellent advice. Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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