Tales From the Front by Cheryl Lavin

First of all, let me say that I love the Internet. I can buy knock-off designer handbags, pay my bills and write my column while I'm still in my pajamas. And if I were single, I'd sign up at some Internet dating sites.

That said, there are some real weirdoes on the Internet. Just ask Janet ...

She enrolled at match.com in 2007, two years after her husband died. She's in her 60s, but there weren't many men in her age group and "none of them were memorable." But there were a lot of men in the 40-48 age group who said they preferred to date older women.

Three of those men sent her naked photos of themselves.

"My very first date was with a 46-year-old gentleman whose profile said he was separated. After going out with him three times, I asked him when he was going to tell me he was still married. He asked what I meant. I said you only call from work, you only e-mail from work, and you're never available on weekends. That's when he admitted he was still married.

"Then I got a wink from a widower who was so handsome it made my teeth ache. He said he was a construction engineer and also dabbled in the market. He sent me photos that he said were taken while he was in Hong Kong on a potential diamond sale.

"He lived in another state. We made a date for him to visit me. He sent me a copy of his first class flight itinerary. Then he called at 4:00 a.m. the day of our date to say he had to go to Ghana on a construction site.

"We emailed back and forth several times while he was in Ghana. During one instant message, the connection was lost. The next day he told me he had been at an Internet cafe and had had dropped his laptop on the floor. The entire screen had shattered. Could I please purchase a new one and send it to him? He promised he would reimburse me when he returned home. Now I smelled a rat.

"He gave me the name and address of his driver and told me to send the computer to him. The computer he wanted cost $2019. I put him off for a few days and then told him my credit card was maxed out and my brother and son-in-law refused to let me use their charge cards. I never heard from him again.

"Then there was the German gentleman who contacted me. He said he had lived in the United States for 29 years and was a citizen.

"After that initial contact, he didn't call or e-mail me for two months. Then out of the blue, the doorbell rang on a Saturday morning. It was him. At my front door! He said he'd been out of the country for six weeks. That's why he hadn't been responding to e-mails or phone calls.

"We made plans for him to come back at 6:00 p.m. and we'd go to dinner. At 2:00 p.m., he called to say he had to return to Munich, but would call me from there and make it all up to me upon his return. That was May 23. I haven't heard from him since."

Have you ever dated your therapist? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavin@aol.com. You can visit her blog at www.talesfromthefront.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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