creators home
creators.com lifestyle web
cheryl lavin

Recently

On the One Hand, But Then Again, on the Other What's better? To be a couple? Or to be single? They both have their advantages and disadvantages. Here's what you had to say ... First, the best parts of being single ... — "Not having to answer to anyone for what I spend." — "…Read more. And Ferret Makes Three When it comes down to "One of us has to go, Rover or me," don't hold your breath. When a pet comes between a man and a woman, Rover usually wins. "Drew's mother said to me when we started dating, 'If he treats you half as well as his dog, you've got …Read more. Blind Dates From Hell Most blind dates turn out to be disasters, but every now and then ... SARAH: "I spent the first year I was separated from my husband going nowhere except with my kids. Finally, needing some adult conversation (I'm a special ed teacher), I went …Read more. A Younger Version When they met, Ryan was 42; Haley was 23. They moved in together, but they couldn't get married. Ryan's wife of 18 years wouldn't give him a divorce. That was what he told Haley, plus he loved his kids very much, and that was why he had dinner with …Read more.
more articles

The Frist Time Is Rarely the Best Time

Comment

The first time.

We invest so much energy thinking about who it's going to be with, what it's going to be like, and how we'll feel afterwards, that it's no wonder that it rarely lives up to the hype.

KAREN: One month after I turned 18, I had my first sexual experience — with another woman. Over the course of the next 13 years, I was in three lesbian relationships. The shame of it is that I'm not gay. I was afraid of men and had such a terrible self-image that I felt unworthy of them.

I've had many years of therapy since then. When I was 31, I experienced my first heterosexual intercourse. The man was 25 years older than me, and I'm still with him 26 years later.

The tragedy does not end there. I haven't had sex for nearly 20 years because he's impotent! Now doesn't your sex life sound fantastic?

KELSEY: I'm not exactly sure when I lost my virginity. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. He was impotent on our wedding night and our honeymoon. But he kept plugging away, and at some point, I guess he was successful, but you couldn't prove it by me.

That's why I always say I was a virgin when I got married, both times!

HANK: I lost it on a hot and sweaty night with a very forgettable girl when I was 16. I wish I'd started younger, like my friends. I came of age in the seventies. Very few of us left high school still a virgin.

Oddly enough, the world didn't come to an end.

HOLLY: I was 28. It was at a party with a girl I'd just met that night. I was attracted to her, but I wish it had been with someone I loved, someone I'd known for a long time. To be honest, it was quite an awkward experience. It really was not how I imagined it. I felt like I should have known what I was doing, since we were both women, but it was just plain awkward.

Do I regret it? I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm glad I finally got the awkward first time over with. On the other hand, the reason I waited so long was because I wanted to be in love. I kind of wish I'd stuck with that. I've decided to go back to waiting for love. I just hope I actually fall in love soon.

GEORGE: My wife and I were both virgins when we said, "I do." We stayed loyal and had no affairs through 53 years of marriage. I'm proud my sweet one was the only woman I ever slept with. No worry about diseases or guilt trips. We grew in our intimate relationship with each other. I was with her when she took her last breath.

I'm still fully satisfied with fond memories, starting with the honeymoon and through those wonderful years together. I'm not preaching, and I may be bragging, but a life of honor with one person sure has its rewards. It's not easy and takes a lot of focus and respect for your spouse.

How was your first time? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM



Comments

2 Comments | Post Comment
@Karen...how could a woman who has been in lesbian sexual relationships not understand the penetrative action of a penis is not required for sex. If your husband is impotent, find other methods to satisfy both of you and retain your intimacy. Sex is important!
Comment: #1
Posted by: Julie
Fri Apr 6, 2012 6:17 AM
Julie, my guess is that Karen understands very well that penetration isn't necessary to have an orgasm. However, what's needed is a willing partner, and from what I've read, many men who are impotent aren't real keen on any sexual activity, because there's no direct reward in it for them. (Probably like what a lot of women feel when a guy doesn't put any effort into satisfying her, oddly enough.)

Yeah, he SHOULD be thinking of her pleasure, but my guess is that he's too embarrassed/frustrated to want to start anything, because it only leads to frustration for him. Better, as his thinking goes, to just avoid the issue altogether -- because you're "too tired", "too sore", "feeling sick" "got a headache" or "too wound up in this tv movie right now".
Comment: #2
Posted by: hedgehog
Fri Apr 6, 2012 7:32 PM
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right:  
Creators.com comments policy
More
Cheryl Lavin
Sep. `14
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
31 1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 1 2 3 4
About the author About the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month