Change It's often said that women marry men hoping they'll change, while men marry women hoping they won't. And everyone is disappointed. Did your partner try to change you? Have you changed for your partner? Some thoughts ... ADAM: We men become creatures …Read more. Doing the Right Thing Dear Cheryl: I'm 30, and my boyfriend of five years is 27. We've been living together for two years. He was diagnosed last year with an extremely rare type of cancer, which had already spread. His prognosis is extremely poor — he probably won'…Read more. She's Not Going to Like My Advice Dear Cheryl: Three months ago, I hired a graphic designer to design a logo for my business. I should tell you that I'm in an eight-year relationship with a wonderful man. We live together, but for the past two years, communication has been an issue. …Read more. That's What She Said ... Today, readers respond to previous columns ... Sherry: The column on friends turning into more reminded me of me. I married when I was 21 to a guy that was fun to be with and showed strong character against spousal cheating and any type of abuse. A …Read more.more articles
The Frist Time Is Rarely the Best Time
The first time.
We invest so much energy thinking about who it's going to be with, what it's going to be like, and how we'll feel afterwards, that it's no wonder that it rarely lives up to the hype.
KAREN: One month after I turned 18, I had my first sexual experience — with another woman. Over the course of the next 13 years, I was in three lesbian relationships. The shame of it is that I'm not gay. I was afraid of men and had such a terrible self-image that I felt unworthy of them.
I've had many years of therapy since then. When I was 31, I experienced my first heterosexual intercourse. The man was 25 years older than me, and I'm still with him 26 years later.
The tragedy does not end there. I haven't had sex for nearly 20 years because he's impotent! Now doesn't your sex life sound fantastic?
KELSEY: I'm not exactly sure when I lost my virginity. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. He was impotent on our wedding night and our honeymoon. But he kept plugging away, and at some point, I guess he was successful, but you couldn't prove it by me.
That's why I always say I was a virgin when I got married, both times!
HANK: I lost it on a hot and sweaty night with a very forgettable girl when I was 16. I wish I'd started younger, like my friends. I came of age in the seventies. Very few of us left high school still a virgin.
HOLLY: I was 28. It was at a party with a girl I'd just met that night. I was attracted to her, but I wish it had been with someone I loved, someone I'd known for a long time. To be honest, it was quite an awkward experience. It really was not how I imagined it. I felt like I should have known what I was doing, since we were both women, but it was just plain awkward.
Do I regret it? I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm glad I finally got the awkward first time over with. On the other hand, the reason I waited so long was because I wanted to be in love. I kind of wish I'd stuck with that. I've decided to go back to waiting for love. I just hope I actually fall in love soon.
GEORGE: My wife and I were both virgins when we said, "I do." We stayed loyal and had no affairs through 53 years of marriage. I'm proud my sweet one was the only woman I ever slept with. No worry about diseases or guilt trips. We grew in our intimate relationship with each other. I was with her when she took her last breath.
I'm still fully satisfied with fond memories, starting with the honeymoon and through those wonderful years together. I'm not preaching, and I may be bragging, but a life of honor with one person sure has its rewards. It's not easy and takes a lot of focus and respect for your spouse.
How was your first time? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM