It's Not the Obit That's the Problem Dear Cheryl: My father-in-law recently passed away. His obituary in the local newspaper omitted our two children's names. I mentioned this to my husband, and he said he'd take care of it. You can imagine the shock I felt when four days later, during …Read more. Matchmaking Heaven or Hell: Part II Selma, who's in her 40s, wrote in several years ago to say she was open to the idea of having children, but wasn't interested in dating men who had any. She had several reasons, such as her religion (Catholic) and also the drama and financial …Read more. The Rush of a Crush I may have a crush on George Clooney or Tom Hardy or David Beckham. You may have a crush on Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum or Hillary Clinton. (It's possible.) They're harmless. Nothing's going to come of it. But what if you were away from home for …Read more. Nice Guy Gets Ignored Today, most men understand that no means no. But where it gets tricky is that sometimes yes means no, too. RYAN: In college, I escorted a young woman who'd had too much to drink to her dorm room. She was intoxicated to the point of almost passing …Read more.more articles
The Day Some of Us Love to Hate
Sometimes the best thing about Valentine's Day is not having to celebrate it at all!
MARY: I'm in my 50s, twice divorced. I had accepted the fact that I'd likely spend the rest of my life single and that I'd never experience the kind of love and intimacy I'd seen among couples who are right for each other. I was wrong. I'm now in a wonderful relationship unlike any I've ever experienced.
My significant other, a widower, says he's no good at giving gifts. His late wife was content to tell him what she wanted for special occasions and that worked well for them. He's been anxious lately over how to recognize Valentine's Day.
I gave him his gift last weekend. I told him he's officially off the hook for this and every Valentine's Day for the rest of our lives. He was visibly relieved. He treats every day as if it's Valentine's Day. That's a better gift than can be found at a candy shop, florist or jeweler.
He asked me which occasions I want him to recognize. I told him there are just three — my birthday, Christmas, and eventually our wedding anniversary.
MICHAEL: Boy, did I luck out on this one. I've been happily married for 25 years to a wonderful Mexican woman. We now live in central Mexico. When she was growing up, there was no such thing as Valentine's Day celebrated in Mexico. (However, that may be changing. The American influence is trying to create "El Dia de Amistad," but so far, it doesn't carry the same weight).
CHERI: Why do grown men think grown women want stuffed animals? I have never understood that. I like flowers; I love candy; I wouldn't mind a plant; and, of course, jewelry is always fabulous. But a stuffed animal? Don't bother.
And while we're on the subject, please, no cards with a guy bear and a gal bear doing fun stuff like making cookies, shopping or riding in a convertible. If you're going to go to the trouble of buying me a card, get something that will either make me laugh or make me sigh.
LOUANNE: Yes, Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, but why are people so bitter about it? I've never expected a man to empty his wallet, nor have I ever complained that whatever a guy planned wasn't romantic enough. Now that I'm married, I tell my husband what I want, which is just a little something to show he remembered.
LUCKY: Even if you don't have the money to splurge, if you're with the right man or woman, your partner will understand. He or she will be glad just to be in the same space with you. I know Valentine's Day is a made-up, pretend holiday designed to get people to spend money, but it's also a chance for a guy to show his woman how much he loves her and a great time for a woman to reciprocate. All in all, it's a real win-win.
How are you going to spend Valentine's Day? What are some of your more memorable ones? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.
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