Change It's often said that women marry men hoping they'll change, while men marry women hoping they won't. And everyone is disappointed. Did your partner try to change you? Have you changed for your partner? Some thoughts ... ADAM: We men become creatures …Read more. Doing the Right Thing Dear Cheryl: I'm 30, and my boyfriend of five years is 27. We've been living together for two years. He was diagnosed last year with an extremely rare type of cancer, which had already spread. His prognosis is extremely poor — he probably won'…Read more. She's Not Going to Like My Advice Dear Cheryl: Three months ago, I hired a graphic designer to design a logo for my business. I should tell you that I'm in an eight-year relationship with a wonderful man. We live together, but for the past two years, communication has been an issue. …Read more. That's What She Said ... Today, readers respond to previous columns ... Sherry: The column on friends turning into more reminded me of me. I married when I was 21 to a guy that was fun to be with and showed strong character against spousal cheating and any type of abuse. A …Read more.more articles
There's something between a totally blind date and a date with someone you know. That's when you meet face-to-face with someone you've been talking to on the telephone. You like their voice and their personality, and based on that, you've made some assumptions about their appearance. What are the chance you're right?
JACOB: I left my wife because she had put me in serious debt. One day I got a call from a female bill collector. We spoke for some time about making arrangements for payment. The more I spoke to her, the more I enjoyed speaking with her. I loved her voice.
She reminded me of a past girlfriend whom I should've married. Every time I spoke with her, all I could imagine was my old girlfriend.
We had a lot in common, so we spoke again — but not about my debt. She said she liked my voice, too. The time came when we decided to meet. I'm no Mario Lopez, but I consider myself an above-average-looking man.
We met at a restaurant close to her job. I was quite disappointed that she didn't look like my old girlfriend. She was quite unattractive and very overweight. I'm sure she sensed my disappointment. But like a gentleman, I tried to have a nice conversation with her.
After a short while, we hugged and went our own ways. I told her to stay in touch. Although she wasn't what I thought she'd be, she was still a good person. I really did enjoy speaking with her, but she told me she knew I didn't have any interest in her. I told her that I enjoyed meeting her and would love to continue speaking with her from time to time.
I really did want to continue that, but she wouldn't answer my calls after a few attempts. I gave up and moved on.
DESIREE: He contacted me though an online dating service. He seemed very cool on the phone and in his instant messages. He had a very snarky sense of humor, which I appreciate. We didn't exchange much information about physical appearance because, in his words, "that's just not important." We agreed to meet at a bar in his neighborhood, and I could tell by his expression that he was immediately disappointed.
Despite being incredibly chatty on the phone, he suddenly couldn't find anything to say, other than bitching about his ex, his job, and the bar and its patrons — which he had picked! He suggested moving to another location, which I knew was an attempt to shake me.
As we were walking to my car, I said: "Look, it seems to me that you're not having a good time, and I can tell you're not digging me at all. So, why don't we both salvage our Friday night and move on?" He touched my arm for a second, said "Thanks!" and practically ran away from me.
I went to a familiar bar and washed him away, and that was that. I realize I'm not a model, but I'm not hideous, either. His reaction to me was an indication that he was not only shallow, but completely self-absorbed, as well.
Did a blind date turn out to be a total disaster? Or a happily-ever-after? Send your tale, along with your relationship questions and problems to firstname.lastname@example.org.
To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.
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