Tales From the Front by Cheryl Lavin

The one thing we can all agree on is that there's an epidemic of herpes in this country. Reports say that anywhere from one-fourth to one-sixth of the population has it. Which means a lot of people are dealing it.

Today, hear from two women who are dealing with it very well ...

Sienna: I'm a 38-year-old separated mother of two who was diagnosed with herpes three years ago (which was two years into my marriage). It was a complete shock. My husband doesn't have it, and I have no idea where I got it.

My husband and I have been together over six years, and he's never gotten it from me, nor have we ever used protection. I was told that I've had the disease for quite some time, but luckily I don't seem to have any outbreaks.

I've had one other sexual partner since I've been diagnosed, and he doesn't have it, either, nor is he afraid of getting it from me. We never use protection.

When I was first diagnosed, I was devastated. I felt dirty and ashamed. It's now three years later, and I actually forget I have it unless the subject comes up. What most people don't realize is that at least 25 percent of the population already carries the virus. Some people have a harder time and more outbreaks than others. It's not much different than having the chicken pox (which is a herpes virus). You have the illness, then it goes into remission in your body, although times of stress can bring on an active infection.

Yes, the virus will always be there, but it won't necessarily be a problem for you. If you eat right, exercise and generally take care of yourself, your outbreaks should be nonexistent or few and far between.

I've told quite a few friends about my condition because I wanted to know how they felt about it.

Elizabeth: I got herpes 18 years ago from my first boyfriend while using a condom. We actually thought it was a latex allergy until we got ourselves checked out. I've only had two outbreaks since then, and I haven't had any in at least 10 years. I'm not on any medications.

After my diagnosis, herpes was something I had to deal with in my dating life. What I would do is wait until it became obvious that we were going to become intimate, and then I would say something like: "I have something important to tell you, and I understand if it changes things. I got herpes from my first boyfriend, and although I haven't had any problems in a long time, it's a risk that you could get it from me. So think about it."

Only once (out of quite a few times) did someone say, "I guess we probably shouldn't have sex." It really wasn't a problem, and I found it a good screening tool for how "into me" someone was.

I've now been married for seven years. My husband has not gotten it from me, and we don't use condoms.

My advice to anyone diagnosed with herpes is: "Don't sweat it. Just be sure to inform your significant other!"

What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to tell your partner? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavin@aol.com. And check out my blog www.talesfromthefront.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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