Tales From the Front by Cheryl Lavin

Today's mailbag explores the reality of reality television, the permanency of gifts, the upside of a health scare and the importance of timing . . .

HARRY: "I don't think a reality show plotline is an actual marriage. Kim Kardashian's engagement, marriage and divorce all line up too neatly for her TV show. It's about as real as Milli Vanilli.

ALLIE: I'm dreading the holidays. I hate getting gifts. A gift for me always retains the signature of whoever gave it to me. It's a constant reminder of that person. I suppose that's supposed to be a good thing, but picking up my child in the outfit my ex-husband bought me on my birthday a few years ago makes me far too uncomfortable.

So I've gotten rid of anything an ex has ever given me. I've even donated jewelry pieces to charity silent auctions and such. Maybe I've become cynical, but I'm tired of the purging. I don't want mementos and reminders. I'd rather have cut flowers that die (without the vase that will clutter my cabinets) or candy that can be consumed. I prefer things that leave no permanent mark.

MARLENE: I had to have surgery because the doctors thought I had cervical cancer. I went through the surgery, and the doctors said it would be at least a week before they'd know if it was cancer or not. The whole week was an emotional ride for me as I healed physically but not mentally.

Three days after surgery my fianc‚ said, "If you don't have sex with me, I'm going to get it somewhere else!" Hard to believe it only took three days of not having sex before he was ready to cheat on me! That's when I knew it was over! Good riddance.

By the way, everything turned out fine. I'm happy to be single as I listen to my married friends complain about their terrible marriages.

DEIDRE: I met Dan at a reggae party. He was with his friends, and I was with mine. We were celebrating two birthdays. While we were talking, his lips looked so soft and his teeth so white I had to kiss him. He was shocked.

I was living with someone at the time, but as soon as I left him, Dan and I started seeing each other. I just knew after a few dates that I needed to be with him. We started dating exclusively, and then I moved in with him.

Dan, on the other hand, wasn't ready to commit. He cared about me, but he wasn't as ready to settle down as I was. I was seven years older than him and had three kids. He had none. We broke up because I wanted a husband, and he wasn't ready to be one. I grew tired of his lying. By this time, we'd been together on and off for 13 years. I finally gave up on him.

A year later, a friend of both of ours died. The tragedy brought us together. This time it was right, and we were finally married. We're together 17 years now and counting.

Did your relationship have an aha moment. Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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