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The Best Revenge Is When You No Longer Want It
Jenna dated Luke all through her high school years.
"He treated me terribly. He'd break up with me, threaten to break up with me, stand me up, not call, etc. He managed to turn me against girls who'd been my friends by making me jealous. And I'…Read more.
Italian Holidays
Italy has always been one of the most romantic countries in the world. But Gloria! This is ridiculous!
Today's tale begins three years after Gloria's divorce. That's when she fell in love with Lino, Italian No. 1. He was the chief engineer of a …Read more.
When a Friend With Benefits Turns Into a Friend
Dear Cheryl,
I went online to find a friend with benefits. I didn't want to get serious at this stage in my life. I got responses from a lot of freakos, then I actually found one man whom I wanted to meet. The sparks flew! We had a few very nice …Read more.
If He Rages, Should You Try to Help or Get Out?
I'm getting beaten up by women who strongly disagree with my advice to Torn. She's the woman, married for seven years, who has a 2-year-old, another on the way and a verbally abusive husband.
He'd been controlling his abuse until he was fired and …Read more.
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It's True! I Hate Men! (Just Kidding!)Two letters that recently ran together and my responses have given fuel to the vast Lavin-Hates-Men conspiracy. The first was from a woman whose 56-year-old fiance (who has cheated in the past) is friends with a pretty 31-year-old girl. The girl calls him at home and at work. He does favors for her and has a picture of her on his computer. (He doesn't have one of his fiance.) She didn't like it, and neither did I. I wrote, "I can't think of one good reason for these two to be friends, but a whole lot of bad ones." The second letter was from Friendly, a divorced woman in her mid-40s. She's not interested in a committed relationship, but needs a little TLC once in a while. She has several "friends with benefits" and wondered if that made her a slut. I told her she wasn't a slut, just a "smart, resourceful woman who's figured out what works for her at this point in her life." Here's what some men had to say ... David: The man has a mentoring relationship with a lady 25 years his junior. No sex is involved. The young lady obviously didn't have a positive male role model when she was growing up and now she's looking for affirmation and attention from an older male — something not uncommon in our society. It really seems like a double standard when you think a middle-aged man should break off a relationship with a woman he's mentoring and then tell a middle-aged woman to go ahead and have as many FWBs as she likes. If a woman wants to have multiple sexual partners that's OK, but if man has a female friend that's not OK because his fiance doesn't like it. Charles: I've been married for 28 years, and I've only had sex with one woman — my wife. She thinks that her sexual encounters come with no "baggage." She needs to realize that her behavior is destructive and will not lead to emotional fulfillment and a stable healthy relationship. She says she's looking for TLC, but true tender loving care is about sacrificing to meet the needs of another. There's so much more to a relationship than just appearances and sex. My heart goes out to her because she's obviously searching for a meaningful relationship but is going about it in a destructive manner. Frank: You can't think of one good reason why the 56-year-old fiance should continue a friendship with a 31-year-old woman? I can think of several. Maybe he's not as close as he'd like with his own kids and appreciates the chance to mentor someone he clicks with. Maybe the tension and flirty energy in his relationship with the 31-year-old helps his relationship with his fiance. Maybe some men have a foolish-but-unchangeable need to have at least one relationship/motorcycle/dog that the missus cannot stand. If the letter-writer can't handle her fiance's relationship, could it signal that she's not ready to commit her life to this guy as he is today? Ron: The fiance isn't keeping anything a secret, so why should he end his friendship? If a man told his fiance to end a relationship, you'd call him controlling. And if a man had FWBs, you'd call him low-down dog. Do you have FWBs? How's that working for you? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavin@aol.com. You can visit her blog at www.talesfromthefront.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM
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