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I Beg to Disagree

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Maria is 33-years-old. She says she's had her heart stomped on a couple of times, but she's always been strong and moved on. “I was content to remain single and focus on my daughter and myself.” And then she ran into Manny.

He was an old friend from high school. They exchanged phone numbers and started texting. They were both going to their high school reunion, so they decided to go together.

“We hit it off right away. The night went so smoothly, I invited him to a friend's gathering the following weekend. That went smoothly as well. Finally, he asked me on our first date. It was the best time I've ever had. I felt like a kid all over again. We were like children, too shy to hold hands, just sneaking looks at each other. After that night, we were inseparable.”

Although they'd just been dating for a few weeks, Maria says it felt like years. “We said ‘I love you' even though we knew it was way too soon. But when it's really love, you just know it. All our friends commented on how lucky we were to have found each other. They said that we were the perfect couple — that we were meant for one another.”

Neither Maria nor Manny was new at love. He had two children from two different women. Maria had her daughter. She told him about the men who'd been in her life; he told her about the women in his.

“We accepted each other. Everything was perfect, a dream come true.”

And then Manny started acting just a bit differently.

The kind of thing that's hard to put your finger on at first. He seemed to be spending less time with Maria; he didn't seem to talk to her in quite the same way.

“Turns out, the younger child's mother had a bit of a problem with our relationship. He asked me for some time to straighten things out. I gave it to him, but the time stretched out, and he wound up breaking up with me. It's almost a year later, but it's hard for me to get over him.

“His friends tell me he misses me. I've gotten those late night drunken calls from him, telling me he still loves me and how much he misses me. Then we pretend not to care and say cruel things to each other, things we don't really mean. But something inside me tells me it's true — he does miss me and love me.

“I'm the type of person who usually lets go easily and moves on. I always figured if I was able to get over my daughter's father, whom I was in love with for eight years, then I should be able to get over anyone. But with Manny, it's been so hard. Our relationship only lasted four months, but it seemed like four years. It was too good to be true.”

Hi Maria, it's Cheryl with a sharp pin to burst your big, fat bubble. Manny doesn't love you. If he loved you, he'd be with you. He's a low-life scum, and you're lucky you're not baby mama No. 3. The next time he drunk-dials you, hang up!

Have you been in Tales? Send your update, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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Comments

4 Comments | Post Comment
Those romances with people from your long-ago past are so tough to handle. They seem to offer the "do-over" for your whole life since then.

Cheryl is right, tho. He doesn't love you, and the drunk-dialing is just the booty call. Do you want to live on as somebody's booty call? Also, I agree with what Bill Cosby once said, "For the first 3 months of any relationship, my PR agent is dating your PR agent." That seems about right to me. People can stay on their best possible behavior for only about 3 months, and then the real personality comes through.

You moved on successfully once before. Bring up the strengths you had then and use them to move on again.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Madelyn
Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:28 AM
Agree, Madelyn. Those things can hit you harder, because your defenses are down.

Maria, you'd do well to listen to Cheryl. I think you dodged a bullet.
Comment: #2
Posted by: hedgehog
Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:57 AM
This is why I hate Cheryl's advice column. Her advice isn't bad... I agree with her that you need to forget Mannie. But her male bashing is pathetic. There's no evidence here that Mannie's a low life scum. There is evidence that like you, he's mixed up and acting stupid. Your whole relationship sounds frankly stupid, fumbling and pathetic. Both you and Mannie deserve someone better, and something better than this dreamy-eyed, drunken, impossible relationship. Move on and get him out of your head.
Comment: #3
Posted by: sarah morrow
Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:48 PM
Sarah, I beg to disagree with you. A man who has two children from two previous relationships, and presumably never married either mother, is a low-life scum. He has no problem bringing children into the world that he has no intention of raising himself. That's about as low as you can go.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Madelyn
Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:28 AM
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