Would you like to meet Courtney and Duncan? You can. At least, you can hear them. During the last six months of their 15-year relationship, Courtney recorded Duncan's verbal abuse. She posted it at www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqW2JxmlBgE.

Their story begins when Courtney was just 17. Duncan was 27, her first boyfriend.

"He was quiet and nice at first. Within two months we were living together. It was like a fairy tale. He would buy me flowers, he was working an honest job and our lovemaking was incredible. I fell head over heels in love with him."

But the fairy tale came to a crashing end after just six months. "The very first time he abused me, we were arguing. I don't even remember what it was about. But he pushed me down to the floor."

Why didn't she leave him then?

"I wish I knew. I loved him. I'm sure you've heard that before."

Eventually, Courtney and Duncan married and had two children. The abuse escalated. "He would punch me, kick me, throw things at me. He would say the most horrible things. He called me bitch, ho, stupid, dumb, fat ass. He would tell me that my family hated me. He told me many times that he would kill me. He constantly berated me and ruined my self-esteem. I felt powerless. I felt worthless."

The abuse was erratic. "Duncan would get mad at the smallest things. Afterwards, he would beg for forgiveness, even get on his knees. I can remember nights I'd be up until 6 or 7 a.m. because he wouldn't leave me alone until I said I forgave him."

But at the same time, he would blame her for his outbursts. "He said they were my fault. He would even blame me for him hitting me."

At one point, Duncan went to rehab for his alcohol addiction. He also smoked marijuana and stole Courtney's anti-seizure medication to get high. He went to jail several times for assaulting her and violating restraining orders.

Every time he left, she took him back. "I was scared to leave because the times when I had he stalked me. And I didn't have anyone to fall back on. I had a rocky relationship with my mother. Also, I struggled with my religious beliefs. I believed you married for life. It took me years to convince myself that God wouldn't approve of this and that it would be OK to divorce him."

To the outside world, Courtney pretended everything was normal. She never told anyone she was being abused. Duncan was her dirty little secret. But she couldn't pretend in front of her children. They begged her to leave him.

"They would tell me how much they hated him. I can't believe I allowed my children to see him abuse me. I feel so guilty for that most of all. I have a lot of regret. Tons of regret."

It was during their last six months together that Courtney started recording Duncan's tirades. She was afraid he was going to kill her and she wanted proof of his abuse.

"He knew I was doing it, but he didn't care. He would even tell me to go ahead and record him."

Next, how Courtney broke free and remade her life.

Have you been in tales? Send your update, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.