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Social Anxiety Always Needs Help and Grade Skipping Very Effective for Some Gifted Students
Social Anxiety Always Needs Help and Grade Skipping Very Effective for Some Gifted Students
Q: How do you know when social anxiety requires more attention (e.g. therapy or medication)?
A: A parent is often the first person who can help a socially …Read more.
Helping Over-Empowered High-School Students Is Not Easy
Q: My question is related to my role as a high-school teacher. I have my master's in special education with a concentration on students with emotional disabilities. I've taught for the last 15 years as either a special education or English teacher, …Read more.
When Should a Child be IQ Tested? and Death Is Frightening to Children
Q: At what point should IQ testing be conducted? We have an only child — a girl who is in kindergarten.
A: There's no specific time that all children should be given individual IQ tests by a psychologist. Schools often arrange for group IQ …Read more.
Grandson May be More Difficult During Grandma's Visit
Q: I'm concerned about my 2-year-old grandson who seems very needy and demanding. He cries for at least an hour after his mom leaves. Occasionally, distraction works but not often. He says, "It's mine" over and over about everything in his …Read more.
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Young Daughter Will Gradually AdjustQ: I'm going through a breakup with my wife and would like my daughter to come and stay overnight with me (daddy). I work nights, so the only time she can stay over is on the weekends. My daughter is still on her mom's breast and will not go to sleep for her nap or at night without her mother. What can I do? Also, I'm very worried about how my daughter will feel and react when not seeing both of us at home or with just me alone, since we're not always together. I'm worried it's going to be a traumatic experience for my daughter once I start doing things alone with her. Will I be causing her any harm? A: You haven't mentioned your daughter's age, but since she's still breast-feeding, I'm guessing that she's quite young and not older than 2. I suggest you begin by keeping her only during the day on the weekend to see if you can get her to nap for you. Her mother could use the breast pump and give you her milk in a bottle. Then you could hold her close and give her a bottle before naptime. She might cry a little, but should adjust quickly to napping if she's tired. I don't think it would be traumatic for her to be with a loving father, provided you are already accustomed to playing with her and doing things for her. Most parents have baby sitters for their young children, and the children adjust well. Your daughter certainly knows you, so leaving her mother for a day and spending it with you can easily become a comfortable and loving habit. Once you've managed to arrange for the napping, you'd be ready to try having her overnight with the likelihood that it would work. As her mother weans her from breast-feeding, she'll already be accustomed to being with you from time to time, and a bottle before bedtime will be easy.
Your staying close to your daughter doesn't cause trauma, but it's important to realize that you have to be a very dependable father. What is truly harmful is a close relationship that later becomes undependable. As your daughter grows up, it's important that she can count on regular visits with you. While both you and your wife can have some reasonable flexibility for other activities, it's important that your daughter doesn't feel like you loved her at first, but later rejected her. It's great that you're going to become involved now, but do that with the commitment that makes it a permanent relationship. Fathers are very important to their daughters. For free newsletters about helping your child after divorce or raising preschool children, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
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