Recently
Helping Over-Empowered High-School Students Is Not Easy
Q: My question is related to my role as a high-school teacher. I have my master's in special education with a concentration on students with emotional disabilities. I've taught for the last 15 years as either a special education or English teacher, …Read more.
When Should a Child be IQ Tested? and Death Is Frightening to Children
Q: At what point should IQ testing be conducted? We have an only child — a girl who is in kindergarten.
A: There's no specific time that all children should be given individual IQ tests by a psychologist. Schools often arrange for group IQ …Read more.
Grandson May be More Difficult During Grandma's Visit
Q: I'm concerned about my 2-year-old grandson who seems very needy and demanding. He cries for at least an hour after his mom leaves. Occasionally, distraction works but not often. He says, "It's mine" over and over about everything in his …Read more.
The Paradox of Late Reading and Student Must Make Careful Investment
Q: I have a 7-year-old son who is not reading yet. He has five older brothers in gifted programs, and he's up to par with them when they were age 7, other than reading. Do I wait until he reads well to have him tested?
A: Although very bright …Read more.
more articles
|
The Trying Terrific TwosQ: I decided to write to you about what I can do to have a better, more positive relationship with my 2-year-old son. Right now, he is the epitome of the terrible twos, and I am lost as to what I can do to get through these trying times. My son was well-behaved, did what he was told, and only occasionally talked back until about six months ago when we moved (again). Since then, he has done a complete 180-degree turnaround. He doesn't listen, refuses to do what he is told, talks back constantly, and has started hitting, kicking, biting, etc. We have tried consistent timeouts, starting with the corner, a timeout chair and even his bed. I hate to say, but I will admit that I have started spanking. None of those have worked, and my husband and I have no idea what else there is to try that will work for us. It has started causing a strain on our relationship, and I'm afraid I will have to go back on depression and anxiety medications just to be able to cope. A: Your son's new stage is as likely to be due to the turmoil of moving as it is to his age. I couldn't help but wonder also if there might be a new baby or at least one on the way. Sibling rivalry, in addition to the move, can also result in those sudden bursts of anger and defiance that you've observed. Please don't get into the spanking habit, although I don't want you to be hard on yourself for occasionally loosing your temper. Two-year-olds can be challenging. Timing your son out in his room is effective if it's done right — it's best reserved for aggressive behavior so that you're not overusing it. You can send for free rules for timeout from my book, "How To Parent So Children Will Learn" (New York: Three Rivers Press, 1996).
Timeout won't be enough for your son. He'll also need a positive schedule of fun so he can feel good about himself. You might want to observe a good day care center and consider your parenting role as a loving wise teacher. You can actually plan a variety of both active and quieter activities to fill your son's day. If there's a rhythm to you son's day, he'll know what to expect and you won't find yourself scolding him as much. My book, "Raising Preschoolers: Parenting for Today" (New York: Three Rivers Press, 1997), can help you develop the daily routines that both you and he will soon feel much better about. It is best to save your personal work for his napping times. As your son matures, he'll be able to keep himself busier for longer. You can vary his day with such activities as puzzles, building blocks, crafts, play dough, music and reading to him, while adding naps and snacks between activities. I'm hoping you won't need medications as you learn to enjoy your son and set limits with confidence. For free newsletters on rules for timeouts, raising a preschooler or discipline for little, middle and big kids, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
