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Rules of Good Sportsmanship Guide Healthy Competition
Q: We are from Asuncion, Paraguay, and have read your article, "Teaching Healthy Competition," on your website. It was very interesting and helpful to us. We're doing an essay about competition in children's games. Finding information …Read more.
Divorced Mother Needs Dad's Support
Q: I have a 16-year-old son and have been divorced from his father for 12 years. He lives with his dad in town one week and then with me 10 miles out in the country. We've always had a great relationship, and for the most part, he's been easygoing …Read more.
School Principals are Critical
Q: I read your site about parents and teachers needing to be united and commend you for this undertaking. Parents and teachers are divided largely due to parents being kept in the dark about what is going on in their child's school. This happens …Read more.
Child Needs to be Gradually Weaned from Parent Attention
Q: My 13-month-old son cries all the time because he wants to be carried around. I've tried letting him cry in his crib, but I am not sure what else to do. His father or I can't even go to the restroom without him throwing a fit. I'm a stay-at-home …Read more.
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Poor Concentration Can Have Several CausesQ. My son is 9 years old and in fourth grade. He was performing well in school until last year when his grades dropped. His father and I have been worried about his performance and attitude toward school. He promises he'll change, but every term his grades get worse. We enrolled him in summer classes last year, but he hasn't improved. We've reported this to his teacher, who's helping by giving him lots of assignments to make him read books and reduce his playing time. He's restless and plays rough. I've been forcing him to read and concentrate on his books, but he loses concentration in class. Please, I need your advice on his behavior. A. You're correct to be concerned. Your son's problems concentrating can be related to learning disabilities, attention issues, sibling rivalry, or anxiety problems; but of course, he would need to be evaluated to know the source of his problems. It's best not to wait too long to search for answers. You can call his teacher immediately and ask her to arrange for an evaluation by the school psychologist as soon as possible before your son loses confidence in himself. If there's a long wait, you can choose to find a private psychologist. In the meantime, let your son know that you want him to be a hard worker. Continue to read to him, and let him stay awake half an hour extra at bedtime if he uses that time to read to himself. Keep in weekly contact with his teacher to be sure he's completing his assignments, and let him know that you and his dad are proud of him when he works hard and does his best. For free newsletters about "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades" or helping your child in the second half of the school year, send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read more about her book at www.sylviarimm.com. Older Daughter May Have Been Dethroned Q. I have two girls. My 17-year-old doesn't follow rules and has a bad temper. We've tried taking away privileges like grounding her or cutting off TV but they only work briefly. A. It's good that your daughters seem to get along so well, but you can't assume there isn't sibling rivalry between them. A seven-year age difference is a large one, and I expect your older daughter received much attention as an only child. I wouldn't be surprised if her personality changed and her problems began when her sister was about a year old. I've named that dramatic change "dethroning." First children can feel rejected and angry, resulting in manipulations that can become quite obnoxious. While the consequences for your older daughter's problem behaviors sound reasonable, you need to look for special opportunities to give her privileges and status that come with being the oldest. Special trips with you or her dad and weekly dates or treats without her sister can help restore her feelings of specialness. She'll soon be looking at colleges and that should provide opportunities for individual and positive attention. You can keep the balance with your younger daughter by finding ways to give her deserved rewards for her positive behaviors, or she could respond negatively to her older sister's privileges. For free newsletters about sibling rivalry or dethronement, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "Tips for Reducing Sibling Rivalry" at www.sylviarimm.com. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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