Q: How do you emphasize the importance of reading directions and paying attention without overdoing it? I have a child who is underachieving, and I'm so frustrated because I don't know how to help her! Thank you.
A: I assume your daughter's quite young because that's when the "not-reading-directions" usually manifests itself. The symptom of not paying attention can be caused by a lack of motivation (if your daughter doesn't seem to care about her performance), a reading disability (if the reading feels too difficult for her), or Attention Deficit Disorder—Inattentive Type (if it's truly difficult for her to pay attention). While I'll give you some ideas to try, I expect you'll have to get a complete psychological evaluation before determining your daughter's underlying problem. Here are some recommendations:
1. Suggest that your daughter read her instructions aloud to herself before she begins her work. When she reads aloud, she's likely to be concentrating better and will actually hear, as well as see, what she's reading, and consequently, she is more likely to understand what she reads.
2. Partner with her on tasks that include directions, such as following recipes for cooking or baking, sewing something using a pattern or putting together a piece of furniture or technology that comes with instructions. As you go through each step, read the instructions, discuss them with her and ask her to help you understand what to do at each step. She can see you as a role model for carefully following instructions. Her other parent or sibling can also do this with her to give her practice and purpose.
3. Think about your daughter's areas of strength and encourage her to do independent projects in those areas. You'll be able to recognize whether motivation makes a difference in both her attention and her ability to follow directions. You may have to help her learn to break up her projects into parts to avoid being overwhelmed by her task.
4. If you have a younger child, give your daughter the responsibility of teaching her sibling something. It will build her confidence and her attention skills. Explaining things to her sibling will help her learn to follow directions and will also reinforce the value of those instructions.
5. Continue to read aloud to your daughter from books that are interesting and above her reading level. That will motivate her to love reading and improve her attention skills. Most children enjoy the attention parents give during reading and you become a role model for enjoying reading.
6. Listening to recordings of books while reading them will also help both attention and reading skills. Many recorded books are available in public libraries.
Let's hope some of these ideas will encourage your daughter and improve her attention skills, but don't hesitate to get additional help if these aren't effective.
For a free newsletter about learning disabilities, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades And What You Can Do About It" (Great Potential Press, 2008), send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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