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Attention Addiction May Be Only Child's Problem
Q. My daughter is 4 years old. Her father and I separated a year ago. Although it's been incredibly stressful for me, I've shielded her from most of it. She gets lots of attention and behaves very well around others — they always comment how …
Adjusting To Move Takes Time
Q. I am a mother of four wonderful kids: an 8-year-old girl and three boys, a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old. I am in the middle of a divorce from their biological father after nine years. I separated from him about a year and a half ago …
Parent Advisory Committee Can Help
Q. My children have the good fortune of attending an elementary and middle school with an accelerated curriculum. Because of the high demand for their particular school, it is tough to get in and parents have this "I won the lottery" …
Poor Concentration Can Have Several Causes
Q. My son is 9 years old and in fourth grade. He was performing well in school until last year when his grades dropped. His father and I have been worried about his performance and attitude toward school. He promises he'll change, but every term his …
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It's Time To Say No To DadQ. I'm married and a mother of three with a loving, stable home. My two older children are from a previous relationship that ended when they were ages 6 months and 3½ years old. They're now 9 and 6 years old. Their father struggled with drug addiction since before they were born, going in and out of sobriety. Every year and a half or so, I get the eternal "I'm sober for good now" and a request to start seeing the boys, which I eventually allow. He'll be the perfect parent for a few weeks and then disappear, after which I comfort them and try to explain things. I'm lost and don't know what to do. Should I let the boys continue having the few-and-far-between visits, keeping hope that one will last? How do I explain to my 6-year-old that he can't go see Daddy because I haven't a clue where he ran off to this time? Should I refuse visits altogether to protect them? I hear horror stories of children resenting their mother down the road because they weren't given the chance to have a relationship with their father. A. You've been more than fair to father and sons. It's time to say no to protect your sons from feelings of predictable rejection by their father. He cares more about drugs than his children. They have a stepfather who undoubtedly loves them and on whom they can count for fathering. When they become adults they can choose whether to build a relationship with their biological dad, but for now, explain that their father is too ill to play a true fathering role. They'll feel safer and more secure; hopefully, when they're adults and you can explain the issues, they'll thank you for the decision you've made. For a free newsletter about helping children cope with divorce, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce" at www.sylviarimm.com. Teen Hibernator Will Miss His Room Q. A. Since you're planning to renovate the houseboat you'll move into, it's probably best to complete the renovation before you move in. Your teen could be a good assistant for this job. Once he spends time fixing up the boat, he may become enthusiastic about the move and you may not have to persuade him. Houseboats don't allow much privacy, and I expect your son is worried that he'd miss that room he hibernates in. If he's still resistant when you've completed the renovation, consider using the houseboat as a vacation home until your son graduates high school. When your son goes to college or lives on his own, you could move to the boat with the younger children. For a free newsletter about moving to a new home, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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