Change Lazy Son to Hard Worker Q: I have a very lazy son who barely studies. His time shifts among the computer (chatting, games), writing lyrics for rap music, listening to music and watching TV. He's in high school, and I'm very afraid he'll have to repeat this year as a result …Read more. Motivation to Please Parents Works Well for Young Children's Learning Q: Is pleasing their parents the right motivation for children? Aren't they going to spend the rest of their lives trying to please others? A: The parenting style of presenting children with choices has come into vogue during the past 20 years. The …Read more. Teacher Requests Help Q: What strategy would you suggest for parents who send their child to his room to complete homework but the child does not work? The parents also want the child to stay with me, his teacher, during recess to complete homework. What do you suggest I …Read more. Popularity Is Not an Indicator of Success Q: I have 8-year-old twin girls. They are fraternal and look different. They also act very differently. They are in different classes. One of my girls seems to attract more friends than the other. This is becoming more and more obvious as we have …Read more.more articles
Grabbing Private Parts Not Normal Behavior
Q. My son is 7 years old. For the last six months or so I've noticed that when he's playing with other boys he sometimes engages in sexual behavior that concerns me. I've seen him grabbing at their penises and his friends do the same. I've told him a couple times that he should never touch anybody else's "private parts" and nobody should touch his. Is this normal behavior that he will hopefully outgrow? Do you have any suggestions?
A. Cultures define touching private parts differently. In our American culture, touching other children's private parts is definitely considered inappropriate touching and is even defined by some parents and authorities as abuse.
Although I can't judge the situation by your letter, a counselor will want to rule out every possible abuse that your son may have experienced. In our sexualized television culture, he may only have seen such behavior on TV or the Internet, but I recommend getting counseling immediately.
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Grandchild Can Learn Manners
Q. My husband and I are taking care of our 5-year-old grandson who's outgoing and very smart. We spend a lot of time at public libraries and I know the people who work there. The problem is that my grandson worries for hours before we go that the ladies will talk to him and he doesn't want to respond. I've tried explaining to the ladies that he's shy, but he's really not. If someone talks to him, he gets a mad look on his face and then ignores him or her. Should we force him to be polite or explain that he doesn't talk to adults? He has no problem talking to children. He's an only child if that makes a difference.
For free newsletters about shy and fearful children, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094, or read other parenting articles at www.sylviarimm.com.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or firstname.lastname@example.org. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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