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Social Anxiety Always Needs Help and Grade Skipping Very Effective for Some Gifted Students
Social Anxiety Always Needs Help and Grade Skipping Very Effective for Some Gifted Students
Q: How do you know when social anxiety requires more attention (e.g. therapy or medication)?
A: A parent is often the first person who can help a socially …Read more.
Helping Over-Empowered High-School Students Is Not Easy
Q: My question is related to my role as a high-school teacher. I have my master's in special education with a concentration on students with emotional disabilities. I've taught for the last 15 years as either a special education or English teacher, …Read more.
When Should a Child be IQ Tested? and Death Is Frightening to Children
Q: At what point should IQ testing be conducted? We have an only child — a girl who is in kindergarten.
A: There's no specific time that all children should be given individual IQ tests by a psychologist. Schools often arrange for group IQ …Read more.
Grandson May be More Difficult During Grandma's Visit
Q: I'm concerned about my 2-year-old grandson who seems very needy and demanding. He cries for at least an hour after his mom leaves. Occasionally, distraction works but not often. He says, "It's mine" over and over about everything in his …Read more.
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Girl is Too Worried About ThinnessQ: I have a 10-year-old daughter who is in an awkward "not quite at puberty" phase. She is built more like her father in that she has a very long body and short, muscular legs. Her growth pattern from birth has always been a period of chubbiness followed by a large growth spurt. I know that she's getting ready to grow again, but she does have some extra weight around her tummy. She is a very active kid, and I know it's just a phase. Her father did the same thing at this age, right before he grew 8 inches over a summer. The problem is that she's in tears at least once a week because she feels "fat" and just wants to look "normal" like her friends. Her idea of "normal" is a very slender build, one that I know she will never have. She will be a curvaceous, muscular and beautiful young woman. I know that the advertisements on TV and pictures in magazines have a strong effect on kids, and I worry that her negative self-image could eventually lead to an eating disorder. What can I do to help boost her self-image and show her that she is beautiful and "normal"? A: You have reason to be concerned about a 10-year-old who cries weekly about not being thin enough. While magazines and media are surely part of her problem, you'll want to search further for contributing causes to her anxiety. For example, consider if she hears you or your husband worrying continuously aloud about your own weight or your husband's negative comments about your weight or hers. Consider other siblings in the family. If she has a thin and glamorous sister, her worries could be part of the sibling rivalry she feels. Her friends could impact her, too.
I'm glad to hear your daughter is active, because involvement in healthy extracurricular activities can keep her mind busy with other things rather than her figure. Sports and physical activities are crucial to her having a healthy weight. Putting emphasis on her positive accomplishments can distract her from worrying, placing the emphasis in her life more appropriately. It's also possible that you are responding too intensely to her weekly tears. The next time she comes to you with tears about her weight, you might tell her she's crying for no good reason and that instead she should get busy doing something important. The American Girl Publishers have a wonderful book entitled "Real Beauty" (Pleasant Company Publications, 2004). It would be a good one to read and talk about together. My book "See Jane Win For Girls" (Free Spirit Publishing, 2003) would also be helpful for putting a girl's appearance in perspective. If these alternative approaches don't decrease your daughter's tears and anxieties, it would be helpful to take her to a psychologist to help identify the underlying causes of her problem and to prevent it from becoming more severe. For a free newsletter on raising girls with optimism and resilience, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
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