Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q. I have 5-year-old boy-girl twins who are a little small for their age, but otherwise very normal. They turned 5 in July, so they were supposed to be going to kindergarten in the fall. When we took them to the school for kindergarten orientation, a woman whom I didn't know took the kids (without saying a word to me), and on the way out of the room, I heard her say, "Oh, they're way too young." The kids were gone, along with the other children, for about 40 minutes. The next day, I received a call from the guidance counselor saying that there were "several red flags," and that she didn't think my kids were ready for kindergarten. Among the "problems": when they had my son jump, he landed with his feet apart (she didn't say whether or not they told him to keep his feet together); my son's grip on the pencil was weak; also, when they gave the kids a picture of half a man to complete, they drew him with his arm and leg straight out to the side. My kids can count to 100; they can add and subtract; and they can read simple words. They are, in my opinion, (I'm a high school teacher, so I'm not clueless about assessments), ready for kindergarten. I believe the school is afraid of overcrowding, and so they're keeping out the younger children. I agreed to let them wait, mainly because I don't want them to call me saying, "I told you so" every time my child has a small problem. Am I hurting them by holding them back a year, and will that cause a problem? I don't want my kids to suffer just because of their birthday.

A. Your children need more than a 40-minute group evaluation to determine if they should have entered kindergarten in a timely fashion. Small size and immature jumping are the wrong reasons to keep bright children out of school.

Early reading, counting, adding and subtracting suggest intellectual readiness, but they need to be more formally assessed. Weak hand muscles are not unusual and can be corrected by practice coloring, cutting and printing; or if the problem is more serious, they can be improved through occupational therapy. Please don't conclude that I'm absolutely recommending kindergarten, but the National Association for the Education of Young Children recommends that families follow kindergarten entrance deadlines unless there are clear-cut indications of intellectual or social-emotional immaturity or measures that suggest giftedness and that earlier entrance is appropriate.

The holding back of children who meet the kindergarten deadline has been labeled "red shirting," adopted from sports jargon. Research indicates that red-shirted children are more likely to show behavior problems during the middle school years, and if indeed they aren't sufficiently challenged, they may be bored by first grade.

It's not too late. You can have your twins evaluated by a psychologist, and if they show readiness, you can enroll them in a private kindergarten now. Based on teacher observation of their adjustment, you can choose either kindergarten or first grade for next year with much more confidence that you're making the correct decision.

For a free newsletter about children's readiness for kindergarten, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "Raising Preschoolers" at www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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