Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q: What can you do for a child who doesn't even have to work hard in school but still gets a positive outcome, i.e. good grades?

A: Although I don't know your child's age, if he's getting grades on his report card, he's likely to be in at least fourth or fifth grade or perhaps older. Still, for sure you would want him to have some more challenging curriculum or he won't learn to apply himself. First, you should have him evaluated by a school or private psychologist to confirm your suspicions that the work is too easy. If he tests very high on his achievement tests, then you'll have some definite data that confirms he already knows much of what he is being taught. You can set up a conference with his teacher to discuss observations. It may be helpful if the psychologist who did the testing can accompany you to the meeting.

You'll definitely want to hear what the teacher has to say about his actual school effort. It's also a good idea to share information with the teacher on your child's interests and activities at home. You may want to make some suggestions of specific areas where you think your child needs a challenge. Please be sure to be respectful to the teacher as you discuss potential changes or opportunities for your child. If the teacher cannot differentiate curriculum for whatever reason, you can ask how you can help your child with home projects that fit with the school curriculum and offer additional challenges. Perhaps, the teacher will permit your child to make reports of home projects if they fit in with the class's studies.

I've assembled an acrostic (see below) to assist parents in understanding how to reach teachers respectfully to request challenges or changes for their children.

It's important to advocate for your children because you know them well, but it's also important to be understanding about the limitations of what a teacher can accomplish with consideration to his or her responsibilities to all the students in the class. The real risk in lack of challenge in the classroom is that children turn off to learning and begin to underachieve when they face their first challenges because they have so many bad learning habits. Hard work seems frightening to them instead of being inviting.

Acrostic for How Parents Can Communicate To Teachers:

Ally with the teacher privately about your concerns.

Listen to what the teacher has observed about your child.

Learn about what the teacher thinks is best for your child.

Initiate a conversation about your child's strengths and problems.

Ask about experimental ideas for engaging and interesting curricular and extracurricular activities.

Negotiate to find appropriate adult and peer role models.

Consent to alternatives if experimental opportunities are not effective.

Extend possibilities patiently.

For a free newsletter about "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades" (Great Potential Press, 2008), send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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