Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q. My two younger children, ages 5 and 8, are attending a very small, wonderful, private school where children are encouraged to be themselves. This school only goes to eighth grade. I'm concerned about the transition of going from a very protected, small environment to a large, unprotected environment at a critical age. I'm trying to raise responsible, caring and achieving children, while desperately trying also to protect their childhood. I would really appreciate whatever wisdom you can share related to my concern.

A. A good quality "small, wonderful private school" is only excellent if it prepares children to enter high school and adjust to a larger, challenging environment. I expect that the school your children are attending keeps follow-up data on its graduates. They can probably tell you the high schools and colleges these children attend and perhaps even about their success in adjusting. While it's possible the school may be somewhat biased in its interpretation of graduation data, I expect they'd be willing to provide you with names of former graduates, and you could call around to find out about other students' adjustment. They probably have adjusted reasonably well, or the school your children are attending would likely be out of business. The fact that it continues to prosper should reassure you that your children's adjustment ahead is likely to be good.

For a free newsletter about "How to Parent So Children Will Learn," send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.

Bed-wetting Alarm Works

Q. My son just turned 13 and still has occasional bed-wetting accidents. The most disturbing part to me is that he hides them and continues to sleep in the bed until the smell gets bad and family members notice it.

A. Your doctor has given you the most obvious answers. Older kids who struggle with bed-wetting often do exactly what your son does. Either they feel helpless about changing the habit, too embarrassed to acknowledge their problem or they are in such a deep sleep that being wet simply doesn't bother them. Bed wetters are almost all very deep sleepers. No child wants to be a bed wetter. Eventually they do all outgrow the problem, but it isn't pleasant for anyone while they're still wetting the bed. If you can't possibly convince your son to give a bed-wetting alarm a try, explain that it's really effective at conditioning a person's body to waking when they need to urinate and you may have success. The alarm we have worked with, DRI Sleeper, claims an 80 percent success rate.

Negotiate a reward system for when your son has achieved 10 dry nights — not necessarily in a row. The rewards may not be effective for getting him to stay dry, but they could work to encourage him to try using the bed-wetting alarm that in turn could teach him to stay dry. It will also help if he limits his fluids before bedtime. I hope this works. If not, you'll need much patience.

For a free newsletter about bed-wetting, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094, or to learn more about the DRI Sleeper alarm visit www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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