Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids from Creators Syndicate

Helping Over-Empowered High-School Students Is Not Easy for 02/15/2012

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: My question is related to my role as a high-school teacher. I have my master's in special education with a concentration on students with emotional disabilities. I've taught for the last 15 years as either a special education or English teacher, mostly with students in 9th and 10th grades. I've worked with all levels from functional to honors and from what co-teachers, students and parents s ...

Updated: Wed Feb 15, 2012

When Should a Child be IQ Tested? and Death Is Frightening to Children for 02/12/2012

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: At what point should IQ testing be conducted? We have an only child — a girl who is in kindergarten.

A: There's no specific time that all children should be given individual IQ tests by a psychologist. Schools often arrange for group IQ testing to help teachers in guiding children toward challenge or for better understanding if children are struggling in school. For many childre ...

Updated: Sun Feb 12, 2012

Grandson May be More Difficult During Grandma's Visit for 02/08/2012

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: I'm concerned about my 2-year-old grandson who seems very needy and demanding. He cries for at least an hour after his mom leaves. Occasionally, distraction works but not often. He says, "It's mine" over and over about everything in his apartment, even if it's someone else's. Also, if he doesn't get what he wants, he screams and cries to get it and won't stop unless something else ...

Updated: Wed Feb 08, 2012

The Paradox of Late Reading and Student Must Make Careful Investment for 02/05/2012

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: I have a 7-year-old son who is not reading yet. He has five older brothers in gifted programs, and he's up to par with them when they were age 7, other than reading. Do I wait until he reads well to have him tested?

A: Although very bright children are often early readers, there are many who read late and some who may have reading disabilities. The most famous late reader was Albert E ...

Updated: Sun Feb 05, 2012

Mid-Life Move Comes to Halt for 02/01/2012

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: My intention was to relocate to the East Coast to live near my son and grandchildren, but I've halted my plans! Fortunately, I have a career.

My two-week visit was wonderful. It was my first extended visit in two years, and I was generously welcomed! We had a lovely visit with a couple of minor disagreements. I made a concerted effort to clear matters as soon as possible. Essentially, ...

Updated: Wed Feb 01, 2012

Lack of Attention Can Mean Many Things for 01/29/2012

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: How do you emphasize the importance of reading directions and paying attention without overdoing it? I have a child who is underachieving, and I'm so frustrated because I don't know how to help her! Thank you.

A: I assume your daughter's quite young because that's when the "not-reading-directions" usually manifests itself. The symptom of not paying attention can be caused by ...

Updated: Sun Jan 29, 2012

Twins Learning Early Lesson in Resilience for 01/25/2012

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: I have a question regarding my identical twins. They auditioned for a gifted and talented program in different fields. Both qualified and were placed on the school's wait list. One child was offered placement because there was an opening in his major. Now they attend different schools for the first time ever.

There have been some positive outcomes from this separation, but there have ...

Updated: Wed Jan 25, 2012

Child Abuse Should be Reported for 01/22/2012

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: I recently learned from a parent at my daughter's school that a group of boys have been pulling down my daughter's pants and fondling her during recess. She is one of three girls that this has happened to. One of the girls confessed to her parent and provided an example of what the boys did by demonstrating the action on her doll. In general, the topic of sexuality is very sensitive, and I'm ...

Updated: Sun Jan 22, 2012

Technology Challenges Parents for 01/18/2012

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: My 12-year-old daughter is the only one of all her friends that does not have a "texting" type of phone. We got a basic phone that she can use when she needs to be in contact. Lately, she is very adamant that she wants a phone to text with. What are your recommendations? She is a good student with nice friends. Money is not the issue, but I'm concerned that we will be out of the lo ...

Updated: Wed Jan 18, 2012

First Things First for 01/15/2012

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: I've just read your responses to "Boys Need Male Role Models" and found it very informative. My questions are these: In today's society, heroes are hard to find. So, where could a future father find one his children can follow? I can't even use myself because I had a very long stint of homelessness (over 14 years). Now I'm working and doing fairly well, but am I a role model?

< ...

Updated: Sun Jan 15, 2012

Princess Needs Gentle Dethronement for 01/11/2012

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: How do I gently and effectively "dethrone" a 3-year-old who is the youngest child in the family? My daughter openly asks me if she is my "special-est," "most loved" child. I continually tell her that I love all my children equally, but she doesn't want to hear that. She is well behaved and respectful at school and home — so far — but very accustomed ...

Updated: Wed Jan 11, 2012

Mother Has Multiple Concerns and High School Student Could Stay Kind for 01/08/2012

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: How do you teach a child work ethic and organizational skills? We have a 12-year-old, gifted child who cannot remember to make his bed in the morning. Also, how do we prevent our kids from getting mixed up with the wrong crowd?

A: Let's begin with your 12-year-old, gifted child's memory problem. I expect you realize that it's not truly a memory problem. First, you'll need to decide ho ...

Updated: Sun Jan 08, 2012

Hang in There With Your Stepdaughter for 01/04/2012

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: My husband and I have been married for nine years and have two children, ages 9 and 2. We also have two daughters from his previous marriage. (His former wife left him.) One is 18 and the other is 14. I am having real problems with the 14 year old.

Two years ago, his ex-wife moved out of state and took the girls with her. My husband was deployed to Haiti when she moved. After a couple ...

Updated: Wed Jan 04, 2012

Encouraging Kids to Read for 01/01/2012

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Q: My son is in fourth grade. He loves math and science, but doesn't want to read. The class has to pick books from every genre but he will spend 90 percent of his time debating why he doesn't need to read this or that book. How can I motivate him to read?

A: Your son's love of math and science will be helpful for choosing a career, but his lack of interest in reading can serve as a trem ...

Updated: Sun Jan 01, 2012

Stepmother Looks for Help With Dad Deployed for 12/28/2011

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Q: Do you have any advice for a stepmother dealing with stepchildren while the biological father is on deployment?

A: Stepmothers do carry a special burden in a marriage. The story of Cinderella has unfortunately carried legends of wicked stepmothers directly to the ears of children, and it is a difficult image to erase. Also, some birth mothers are not happy about other women taking on ...

Updated: Wed Dec 28, 2011

Prewriting Unnecessary for 12/25/2011

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Q: I have a male student who really hates to prewrite (writing his rough draft in pen instead of on the computer). He does well with his essays without prewriting. When it is insisted on, he types it on the computer, then goes back and does the prewriting by hand to satisfy the teacher. If prewriting isn't necessary for him to do well, what are your thoughts on insisting that he do this step?
Updated: Sun Dec 25, 2011

Preschool Practice for Writing for 12/21/2011

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Q: What techniques or strategies can I implement to encourage my son to write and draw more? He is 4 years old, and I am concerned about kindergarten readiness. Thank you.

A: I'm glad you asked this question because many parents, particularly of boys, have written to me about their school-age children's problem with handwriting. Boys' problems with handwriting aren't new. Teachers have f ...

Updated: Wed Dec 21, 2011

Please Don't Spank for 12/18/2011

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Q: Is spanking an argumentative boy bad practice if all else fails? Time-outs haven't worked well for this child.

A: It's tempting to spank a child who argues with you constantly. Sometimes you'd even like to shake him. You probably lose your temper with him regularly, and I'm sure you wonder how and why he pushes limits incessantly, thinking he knows more than everyone.

What we ...

Updated: Sun Dec 18, 2011

Teaching Kids Resilience for 12/14/2011

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Q: What are your recommendations for teaching kids resilience and secondarily coping skills for when they're emotionally overwhelmed?

A: You've asked a huge question in a brief sentence. Many books have been written to answer just this question, so answering it briefly is a challenge that feels a bit overwhelming. I'll try to simplify my answer, and I hope it will be helpful.

Ther ...

Updated: Wed Dec 14, 2011

Another Boy with Handwriting Problems for 12/11/2011

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Q: My friend's little boy has struggled since pre-kindergarten with socialization, and he was diagnosed with something similar to Asperger's. His scores are in the 99 percentile for the verbal, perceptual and memory parts of the Wechsler IQ test, but only the 13 percentile for processing speed.

He's a very frustrated little boy going into third grade. In first grade, he said everyone el ...

Updated: Sun Dec 11, 2011