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Cues and Coffee
DEAR SUSAN: After several years of marriage, my wife left me. I tried to save our marriage, but now I feel ready to start dating. The trouble is that for the past few years, I've had little to do with women except in business situations. So I really …Read more.
Toxic Confusion
DEAR SUSAN: Just recently, I told a female friend my true feelings about her. She said she wished I hadn't because she's seeing someone. Now I'm confused. Does she wish I didn't tell her because it could cause a problem with her current relationship …Read more.
Skin-Deep Romance
DEAR SUSAN: After a 15-year marriage, I'm dating again. The man is good-looking and sincere and has a great sense of humor. But in his youth, he was into motorcycling and drinking (he's 47), and he has tattoos that almost cover his arms. He's gentle …Read more.
Forward March!
DEAR SUSAN: I know this is the 21st century, but my roots are in the 1950s, and dating etiquette has me stymied. I just spent the weekend with a friend who is becoming more than a friend, and that's the dilemma. Distance keeps us from seeing each …Read more.
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The ChaseDEAR SUSAN: You wrote something that made me write this letter. I quote: "An even quirkier finding (in my survey) is that women lost interest in their married man when they knew his spouse knew about the affair and went along with the triangle. (When she was an unknowing third of the arrangement, single women got a large boost from dating her husband.) Could it be, this columnist wonders, that dating a husband who isn't theirs gives single women the kick of competing with their mother?" I am a happily married man. I've never cheated and never will. It's against everything I believe and the way I was raised. This quote reminds me of a dog chasing a car. As long as the car is moving, it's a challenge for the dog. If the car suddenly stops, the dog loses interest and wanders off. I do believe many women feel "high" when they sleep with married men. There's a degree of adventure, a "rush" in doing something forbidden by society. But if the wife discovers and approves, the high and the rush diminish, and the "other woman" no longer gets a thrill. Comments? — George G., Long Island, N.Y. DEAR GEORGE: Lots of them. For openers, you didn't mention — or you may not realize — that a married lover is a safe haven, a respite from the rigors of dating and the painful endings that can wear down even the best of us. From all I know of the single mindset, it's easy to believe that the safety of dating someone already spoken for overshadows any other reason for the married-spouse arrangement. That said, safety can become a given in the relationship, at which point it morphs into something that reminds me of primal competition with the mother for the father. Not difficult to believe, given the way young girls use their girlie-girl wiles to seduce their daddies away from the other women in the triangles, their mommies. TAX ON SOFT DRINKS. For a while now, I've been inducing you to subscribe to (or, at least, heed the advice of) the foremost nutrition newsletter I know of, the good sense and health facts published by a group that does not and will not accept any form of advertising, the Center for Science in the Public Interest. No special interests here. When the people at CSPI do research, you can be certain the findings are accurate and, best of all, untainted by undue influence. (Ask about this group and you'll realize its standards are high and uncompromising.) Today's sermon is on soft drinks, those calorie-laden, weight-busting, nutrition-empty cans of liquid candy. Facts: "More than 34 percent of American adults are obese and another 33 percent are overweight. The picture is just as gloomy for kids. Roughly 32 percent of children aged 2 to 19 are overweight or obese. Because of that, some experts project that the current generation of kids will have a shorter lifespan than their parents." (Facts taken from a report by Michael Jacobson, Ph.D., executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest.) Jacobson is the driving force at CSPI. The group pulls no punches and names products that are downright dangerous to your health. I have no qualms about recommending this source of straight talk. Unbiased by advertising. To subscribe: Nutrition Action Healthletter Center for Science in the Public Interest 1875 Connecticut Ave. N.W., Suite 300 Washington, DC 20009 http://www.cspinet.org 202-332-9110 Write to Susan Deitz in care of this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at info@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.
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