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Maintaining Love
Dear John: If you find someone that you're attracted to is it at all possible that you can create a love between you by just working at it? Or is it more a matter of finding that one-and-only right person who has just the right magic to make it all …Read more.
Woman in Love With Best Friend
Dear John: I'm a 40-year-old woman, and my best friend is a male. "Craig" and I have been friends for three years. Lately, I have been having feelings for Craig that are more than just friendship. Is this normal? He is a man I have trusted …Read more.
Woman Afraid Friend Will Sleep With Her Brother
Dear John: My friend, "Jodi," recently ended a long-term relationship. Her boyfriend had no respect for her and often cheated on her. Needless to say, Jodi makes it a point to be checked out for STDs. She told me this in confidence, and …Read more.
Woman Ponders if She Should Pay
Dear John: I am going out with a lovely gentleman. He happily pays the bill whenever we go out. Sometimes I felt guilty because I'd like to share the expenses. Is it a good idea to bring the topic up? I feel it may ruin the attraction at this early …Read more.
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Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly. I think he saw me as an easy target because of my recent divorce. Since we quickly got intimate, I know I skipped some very important steps in the dating process. What signs can I look for that a potential soul mate has serious intentions? How do you know it's time to move from uncertainty to intimacy? —Time to Get it Right, in Austin, Texas Dear Get it Right: At different stages in your life, you are going to have different needs. It sounds as if, at this stage of your life, you are looking for a serious relationship. Rushing into intimacy as a way to determine if a relationship will develop into something long term is not your best option. Time is the determining factor in whether someone is right or wrong for you. So if you're intent on looking long term, hold off. Give yourself time to let your certainty grow. By doing this, when the right time comes, you'll know it. Dear John: What to do men mean when they say they "just want to be friends"? It seems that every relationship I have encountered ended when they found someone else to marry, while I get "We're just friends," or "Nothing personal, but the chemistry just isn't there." —Where Am I Going Wrong, in Providence, R.I. Dear Wrong: Commonly, when someone ends a relationship, he or she doesn't want to hurt the other person's feelings.
The issue here is compatibility: finding a relationship in which you are appreciated for the unique values that you bring to the life of that special person who is right for you. This is why you shouldn't take it personally. Just as there is a right role for every actor, and actors get turned down for many roles for many reasons, successful relationships are about making the right connection. While you may feel that you've been turned down a lot, the truth is that three or four failures can feel like a hundred when our heart is on the line. Keep searching: I'm certain that the role of a lifetime is still waiting for you. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Visit his website, http://www.marsvenus.com, for advice on dating, marriage, parenting, romance and workplace issues. Or email him at comments@marsvenus.com. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2012 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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