Mars and Venus by John Gray

Dear John: Maybe it's all the "Twilight" hoopla, but truly, I enjoy biting and being bitten. Thankfully, my current boyfriend shares my tastes. However, every time we get to fooling around and begin to just nibble on each other, I have this intense desire to bite far too hard. Thankfully, I have restraint and would never actually do that, but for the life of me I cannot figure out why I get these urges. Any ideas on this? — A Bella in the Making, in Portland, Ore.

Dear Bella in the Making: Your restraint is admirable (especially when you consider she's not the one with a bloody appetite). You've been lucky to find a mate who shares this fetish. Only he can give you the permission to go as far as you desire. If he turns this request down, do yourself a favor: Channel this sensual instinct into an object that both of you might enjoy together. For example, shift the focus of your chomp from his shoulder to a nice fresh peach you keep on the nightstand. The skin you save might be you own, particularly if your indulging boyfriend chose to bite back.

Dear John: Is it OK for me to ask a guy if he loves me? I want some base for the relationship I am in.

I have known him for 15 years, although we've only been dating for the last year. We've both been divorced twice already, and are both living on eggshells. He is everything I want in a man, heart, body and soul. We enjoy our intimacy, and are compatible in every way. I don't want to pressure him, and I don't want to ruin what we have now, but I need to know if he really loves me! — Needs to Know, in Charlottesville, Va.

Dear Needs to Know: Asking your partner if he loves you in the early stages of a relationship is not a good move. Still, considering that you have been in a relationship for over a year now, and you have been intimate, it is appropriate for you to ask the "Do you love me?" question.

Often men are reluctant to say, "I love you," because they feel that it might be taken as a commitment to a long-term relationship. You should approach him by saying: "I love you so much. I assume you love me because we have so much fun together. I would love to hear you say you love me, too. If you do, I understand it does not mean you want to get married. It just means that I'm very special to you." If you say it in this manner, I think you'll hear the words you have been waiting to hear.