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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: I'm a 26-year-old man trying to understand women. Last winter, I met a really nice girl, "Jane," who is 24. I really liked talking with her. Unfortunately, Jane had a boyfriend already, so I decided to forget her and not try anything stupid. A couple of months later, I heard that she left her boyfriend after three years. Then a few months later, out of nowhere, Jane called me to do something, and we started dating. We've had lots of fun over the past five months, and I'm really getting strong feelings for her. For the first time, I have been thinking that this girl is for me. Everything was going fine until a couple of days ago. She said she was confused because her ex had called her twice. She realizes that she still has feelings for him. I did my best to listen and not pressure her, and I told her that whatever she decides I want to at least remain friends. She went home to think about it. Should I pursue her and tell her that I miss her? Or should I just let her think about things? I really don't want to lose her. — Tossed in Vancouver, BC, Canada Dear Tossed: You're a good and kind man. You've done the right thing by sharing your feelings and letting her know that you are there for her, regardless of her decision. While you are ready for the exclusivity stage of dating, at least for now, she is stuck in the uncertainty stage. All relationships go through this. It's part of the process of life. If her ex is still in her heart and mind, it is better that you know this sooner than later. But take heart, if you are meant to be a couple, she will eventually come to that conclusion as well. Dear John: "Greg" and I have been dating for almost a year.
Is this something I should be concerned about? He hasn't used the "L" word with me yet, and I'm dying to say/hear it. He should say it first in this situation, right? — Word Play in Scottsdale, Ariz. Dear Word Play: It is often difficult for us to accept, but there are a lot of people, particularly men, who have a variety of hang-ups around saying those three little words: "I love you." The longer it goes unsaid, often the more difficult it becomes. Should he say it first? No, not necessarily. This isn't a contest to see who blinks first, and the fact that he has difficulty expressing his feelings does not mean you should be suppressing your own. You've been dating for close to a year, you feel deeply about him, and you should feel comfortable enough to tell him how you feel. In fact, you should tell him every time you want, if you wish. If anything, hearing you say "I love you," may allow him to feel comfortable enough to express his feelings, too. For many tongue-tied guys, all that is really needed is a consistent and persistent example of love. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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